Ex DH had a long affair with colleague. I discovered this 6 months ago and told OW’s DH. She lied and minimised, admitting to minimum that could be “proven”.. He didn’t want any details and chose to go with her narrative. No contact since.
DH and I tried to reconcile - long marriage, kids involved. I was told had been given all truth. Looking at bank statements for remortgage, queried large withdrawal back from when they were “together”. It came out that OW claimed to have fallen pregnant and asked Ex DH to pay for termination. He didn’t see any evidence of her being pregnant but also zero reason to doubt. She said she went privately so as to avoid being on NHS record.
Total deal breaker for me. Marriage beyond saving, the hiding from me being the worst. Question is do I tell her DH? Assuming she will deny anyway. Argument is leave them be but if were, I’d want to know if I were him so as to make a decision or something so momentous.
Thank you for listening and not judging.