Being contacted by an ex

[Hurstlandshome]

I split up with my ex in December 2021 after a 1 year relationship. He clearly had issues as broke the relationship off a number of times, gaslighting and trying to control. I ended the relationship. He then sent me hundreds of pounds worth of flowers and text me constantly, until I had no choice but to block him on phone and then social media. I informed him that I was seeing someone else and that it wasn't appropriate for him to keep contacting me. A few months later I got an email. Which I ignored. Then in Feb this year I got another email on Valentine's. I responded and politely told him it was pointless contacting me as I would never return to that relationship. He emailed a couple more times and I didn't reply.
This morning I have woken up to another email wishing me a happy Easter but this time has an insult, disguised as a friendly greeting - happy Easter silly you, I notice I'm still blocked, how are you?

I'm not going to lose any sleep over being called silly you - but knowing him as I do it's not friendly and has really thrown me. I've not really posted on here before but it's upset me a little - not just the name calling (honestly I'm not a meek and mild person who'd find that distressing) I think it's the tone changing in his contact and the fact nearly a year and a half later he is still contacting me.

Do I respond or do I block his email too? What is the best way to deal with someone who won't leave you alone?

Do you mean December 2020?

Keep blocking him and stop responding. He knows he gets a response so will keep contacting. If it gets to the point where you need to file a harassment case with the police, you already have the evidence that you have repeatedly asked him to stop contact. But do not reply again.

Yes sorry 2020

Write back and tell him clearly and firmly that you do not wish to have contact with him of any type whatsoever and that, if he continues you will report him to the police for harassment.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

Then set up a rule on your email accounts so that anything more he sends you goes into another folder you create especially for them so you have evidence of his harassment if he continues. Also make a note of anything he sends to your home (flowers, gifts etc) as further evidence.

Tell your friends and family about this situation so they do not talk about you to him.

Have a Ring doorbell or similar installed on your door so you can see on your smartphone if he pays a visit to your home.

Hope you get this stalkerish person out of your life @Hurstlandshome. Take care. 🌹

Why have you not blocked him on your e mail?

@Newestname002 has it, when you report harassment the police advise that you send a short reply in writing saying that you consider their contact with you to be harassment and if it continues you will contact the police. Then contact the police, don't wait for it to happen again.

He is already harassing you, I would report this at the same time, telling the police you've asked him to leave you alone.
This happened to me, I followed that advice, he contacted me again so the police acted straight away, too it v seriously. He was a bus driver, they contacted his employers as well as him personally to warn him.

@PlainJaneEyre

Why have you not blocked him on your e mail?

I think because I wanted to leave a channel open to him, so that he didn't come to my home or find other ways to reach me eg through work. That may sound crazy and maybe it is. I'm not sure. I don't know how to handle this situation.

I'm trying to get a consensus on whether blocking email is the right thing to do.

I'm not a dramatic person but at this point I would honestly warn him if he doesn't stop hassling you, you will be going to the police.

Definitely don't respond. I have an ex like this. If I ever reply, even to say "stop emailing" then he'll carry on as I've responded so to him he obviously sees it as a sign!
I have blocked him everywhere I can, yet he'll occasionally still find a way to message me somewhere and then I just block on there aswell.
Definitely block his email, I doubt he would come to your house as mine has never gone that far with it. Although I have now moved 300miles away

I have an ex like this. The only response is no response - ignore, ignore, ignore! I blocked him on everything except his phone number - so when he texts I know it’s him, and I can ignore it. Saves me worrying about calls/texts from unknown numbers.

Having suffered stalkers myself I would not give him yet another warning I would immediately report this to the police. They should then talk to him.
I agree the tone change sounds rather worrying.

I took the advice and messaged him saying if he contacts me again I'll take it further. Then blocked him. To my horror, I have just received a reply from him with a note from gmail saying 'this message is from a blocked contact'
Well cheers Google, l blocked because I don't want to see another thing from him!!! What's the point of blocking?!!

Well done. Report it all now, to the police, you can use the non emergency number and explain it all, the history, how long for etc. they will take it seriously. They will intervene if he tries again once you do that.