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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Past parenting

1 reply

Benbofurg · 17/04/2022 07:09

NC in case people know me.

My partner and I have a newborn baby together and a previous child each from a past relationship.
This evening we got talking about parenting in general and he admitted that he smacked his child on the bum and when that didn't work, he used a child's clothes hanger on 2 occasions. This was probably about 6 or so years ago and not done anything similar since. Hasn't used any physical punishment since I've known him so this was a shock.

He hates himself for it as the child would flinch when around him, he cried whilst telling me and seems genuine but I cannot get my head around someone doing this.

He had an awful childhood, full of similar stuff and no one confronted him over it to say it wasn't okay. But you'd still know, right? Or at least feel awful when they cried without escalating to objects?

Don't feel great about having a baby with him and wondering how much I'll be able to trust him alone with them in the future.

OP posts:
speakball · 17/04/2022 11:54

I guess you need to talk more, does he truly understand that he never has the right to abuse a child like that. How old is that child? Has he apologised now he realises it was wrong? That's what matters, how accountable he is and how he knows why it was completely unacceptable and abusive.

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