Lonely after meeting with friends

[Tiredbuthappy21]

I have only two friends I have known since school (20 plus years) and thought I was close to but the last couple of times we've met up I've come away feeling more lonely. Our lives seem to be so different and things I value / hold dear seem so dissimilar. I find conversations flow better and I have more in common with 'acquaintances' (I would say i only have these two friends). We've been through a lot together over the years but that was probably the first 10 years of our friendship - I spent today clock watching then felt guilty for it - they've both just text to say how much they enjoyed our catch up 🙁

I have times where I feel exactly the same. I have more fun and better chat with new friends than I do with my old friends. I can't work out why but I completely understand you

I seem to feel sad and lonely after I’ve met up with my group of friends. I think it’s because I’m the only single one and the rest are in long term relationships or engaged.

I know this is down to my own insecurities and a tad jealousy on my part, and thinking “what is wrong with me that I’m embarrassingly single when everyone else is so loved up”. & that I can’t really join in on conversations about their other half’s and “typical men”.

Do you think there could be something similar going on between you and these 2 friends? Do they both have something you yearn for? Do they talk about things that you can’t relate to? So instead of coming away from a meet up feeling happy with you instead feel lonely?

Whatever the reason is, it’s not nice to feel lonely so I can totally empathise. If you value the friendship you have with them look at the positives and think of ways to combat the loneliness feeling. Wether it’s, another catchup with a different acquaintance, a phone call with a family member, chatting online, going for a walk, joining a gym class or club.

I work in a profession which can be quite full on and have 2 teenage children - my friends are both sahm with primary school age children. I think you're right about the envy - I miss my children being small and having time. I'd love to cut my hours but we just can't afford to.

Sounds daft, but you don't necessarily have to enjoy the company of people for them to be friends. Sometimes it's about knowing someone really well, having a shared history, caring about them loads and knowing they're there for you, even if you go through stages of finding them a bit boring or irritating. Over a lifetime these things can wax and wane and you may find in time your lifestyles come back together again. If they're long term friends, unless they're actually objectionable or unkind or they upset you, personally I'd stay with it. The older I get the more I find I need other women in my life, and I'm glad I kept my old friendships going, even though there were periods when they didn't offer as much.

*I seem to feel sad and lonely after I’ve met up with my group of friends. I think it’s because I’m the only single one and the rest are in long term relationships or engaged.

I know this is down to my own insecurities and a tad jealousy on my part, and thinking “what is wrong with me that I’m embarrassingly single when everyone else is so loved up”. & that I can’t really join in on conversations about their other half’s and “typical men”. *

I was just about to post the same thing. I’m usually ok after meeting up with my single friends but not the ones that are partnered up. I guess cause they get to go home to someone and I’m not.

Your 2 friends may go home and feel miserable sometimes with their partners.
So perhaps they may be jealous of YOUR situation and freedom.
Consider meeting 1 to 1 sometimes do its not the other 2 chatting on couple stuff and you feeling left out.

Sorry, stop with the envy - you are a step ahead of them. You have a teenager. They are yet to be aware of all this entails. Can you imagine the conversations to be had in the years to come. Surely the friendship will survive this?

@5128gap

Sounds daft, but you don't necessarily have to enjoy the company of people for them to be friends. Sometimes it's about knowing someone really well, having a shared history, caring about them loads and knowing they're there for you, even if you go through stages of finding them a bit boring or irritating. Over a lifetime these things can wax and wane and you may find in time your lifestyles come back together again. If they're long term friends, unless they're actually objectionable or unkind or they upset you, personally I'd stay with it. The older I get the more I find I need other women in my life, and I'm glad I kept my old friendships going, even though there were periods when they didn't offer as much.

Great post 💗 ive screenshot it 🙂