On line dating - which sites at my age

[stillvicarinatutu]

Hi
I've been trying on line dating and things have become so disastrous that I've currently given up .

I am now 50. I have been single 3 years.
I initially signed up with a paid site - however it became apparent quick quickly that it was no better vetted than the free ones and most people of the people on there were also on the free ones . I didn't renew the subscription.

I have met some pleasant chaps on bumble which feels less sleazy than the others and because the women have to message first , so you aren't inundated with requests to see your stockings etc ! But it's a small site and while had a few dates nothing great .

I tried both tinder and pof and they were absolutely awful. Catfish, cheats , liars, men using 10 year old pictures , lying about their status or worse , perverts , and a special kind of woman hating guy who every time I blocked would find a way to re message calling me a stupid c*nt ! I'd said absolutely NOTHING to him . He must have reported my profile or something even tho I'd done nothing because I got an email saying they'd removed my account. I'd hidden my profile anyway .

So - at my age now - is it worth paying for any site again , are any better vetted or policed ? I don't want to sign up , waste a load of money for the same old shite I've had on the free ones .

Im not really expecting a fairytale, just someone to share the nicer things with , but im not desperate or even hopeful any more !

Just wondered if any one had any recommendations or what worked for them if slightly older .

Thanks

In short, no.

Enjoy your friends and DC if you have any

I went on Facebook dating and met my partner. I'm 70+

The problem re friends is I moved area so don't really have any friends here and I work shifts so can't commit to anything regular hobby or club wise to make new ones .

My dc are grown up and away living their own lives . Sons abroad and daughters here and I do see her but she's a busy bee herself.

Went onto fb dating , took myself off it after 20 mins.

Online dating has had its day now I think.

Real life meet ups much better. Get more of a feel for someone then.

@DenholmElliot

Online dating has had its day now I think.

Real life meet ups much better. Get more of a feel for someone then.

Completely agree. I met my boyfriend through a hobby and I'd known him for 4 years before we got together.

There is absolutely nothing that would get me online dating.

I'm 48.

Thanks . As I thought !

I think online dating probably has had its day, it's full of completely undatable guys from what I understand.

I don't meet guys in real life so I'm changing my career (it's a massive step up financially too) and that will hopefully broaden my social pool including meeting normal guys in real life, I actually look mens company, but once they get in a relationship they change and get so lazy and entitled.

I can't be bothered with changing hobbies, my hobbies are all solitary or with other women and that's what I prefer. I'm not going to less my quality of life to try and engineer meetings with men.

I'm also happy single (I do have a FWB so that scratches that itch) I'm the happiest ever and I think not having a permanent relationship with a man for the first life ever in my life has massively contributed to that feeling of happiness.

I actually think in the future women will actively choose not to settle down with men, we will use them to create our children with, then kick them out. Just a theory, but it's definitely happening more and more and hopefully the gender pay gap will close then we really will have freedom to choose.

Well I had an itch to scratch but started taking sertraline again today .Jesus Christ . Only been off it a couple off months but wiped me out . Indent think there'll be any itch to scratch when that kicks back in 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I'll be fine but didn't sleep last night at all after seeing ex with his new partner and child whilst out and had massive panic attack today . Thank god I didn't need to go out . Spent most of day either heart racing or after sertraline sick and drowsy .

@stickanotherlogonthefire

I think online dating probably has had its day, it's full of completely undatable guys from what I understand.

I don't meet guys in real life so I'm changing my career (it's a massive step up financially too) and that will hopefully broaden my social pool including meeting normal guys in real life, I actually look mens company, but once they get in a relationship they change and get so lazy and entitled.

I can't be bothered with changing hobbies, my hobbies are all solitary or with other women and that's what I prefer. I'm not going to less my quality of life to try and engineer meetings with men.

I'm also happy single (I do have a FWB so that scratches that itch) I'm the happiest ever and I think not having a permanent relationship with a man for the first life ever in my life has massively contributed to that feeling of happiness.

I actually think in the future women will actively choose not to settle down with men, we will use them to create our children with, then kick them out. Just a theory, but it's definitely happening more and more and hopefully the gender pay gap will close then we really will have freedom to choose.

@stickanotherlogonthefire

Women can already use sperm donation for having children so no need to 'use' the men for that part alone. I'm a solo mother by choice and did just that, but I came to it not quite through 'choice', but rather through (forced ?) choice as time was running out for me and I didn't want to end up childless through lack of a man or relationship. I'm very happy now as my son is here and it's all worked out well, but it wasn't a straightforward decision.

I don't think it's about closing any pay
gaps per se so that the women will embrace freedom to really choose. The notion of having own "nuclear family" is very strong and embedded across class and cultures and many welcome the idea of sharing the parental load with a partner (of their children) even if they have family around.

Our of interest, do you have child(ren) Op?

@Anthurium - I'm not really talking about sperm donation, more a short relationship
at the right moment, but with the expectation that it's for the purpose of creating a child, then raising the child separately.
I think the idea of a nuclear family is wonderful, but so are gay families and lone parent families, which are fairly new as being accepted, but now are common place.

I'm just suggesting that it's often resources that are the reason many women stay in unsatisfactory relationships with unworthy men.

I am a lone parent with a single child, I've had some lovely relationships with men - they just weren't right to parent with.
Each relationship Ive had resulted in them assuming I would play second fiddle to them after a few years, and I've always believed and wanted equality and balance in a relationship/family.
I don't hate men at all, it's only really reading about the rubbish men out there and seeing them in my own family that actually I believe many women would be better off alone, or at least have the confidence to go it alone.

It's just my personal view of how relationships in secular western countries might develop in the next century. I'm not an academic, it's just an idea.

I have been online dating for way too long, it used to be a good way of meeting people and I have made several good friends but now it’s totally different, maybe because I’m getting older? Or maybe because I have become less tolerant to bull shit?

I try and join groups on FB linked to my hobbies, walking groups, wildlife groups, outdoor adventure groups are all good. I meet up with people similar to me without the awkwardness of online dating, we go for a walk, share a hobby or go for coffee and cake. I am still in a couple dating apps but barely use them anymore and rarely get any messages.

I’m 46 and recently made the mistake of trying OD again. It’s not changed a bit from last time. I was told Hinge and Bumble are best but I got literally nothing on Hinge and on Bumble out of maybe 10 matches I got 2 guys who bothered to reply.
I suspect I’ll be deleting them again soon. I would rather meet someone in real life but that’s not so easy for me with kids every other weekend

I heard an advert on the radio for Our Time I think it was called. It was dating for 50+

I don't know if that will help. Or join the long running dating thread in the relationship section here. They're very good for advice.

I don't think online dating has had its day. The stats don't bear that out. Though it does sound like it's not for the faint hearted. If you have few opportunities to meet people in real life, through work and hobbies, then it makes sense.