Ex acting like a saviour when his emotional abuse drove us away.

[Longcovid21]

AIBU to be frustrated with this situation I've just found out about. I separated from my kids dad 5 years ago after constant arguing, his extreme cheapskate ways and emotional abuse. He does not pay a penny for the kids. I haven't yet gone down the official route as I'm still a bit scared of him and our finances are not yet severed (we still own a property jointly).

Ex has created a small air b n b and have just found out he's informally long term letting it to a woman who in her own words is escaping emotional abuse. He's coming across as some sort of saviour. She's being very naive here too I think. There's no relationship involved (at this stage anyway) but am I being unreasonable for this to piss me right off?

Youre only being unreasonable to still own a house with the guy 5 years after he left.

If you were out and free you could have gave her the heads up. But you're still tied to him through a property that should have been sold 4 years ago.

He isnt going to pay you a penny unless the law mandates it unfortunately.

Either find your metal and go all in or keep as far away from his business as possible. Shit or get out the pan.

@Pinkbonbon I left not him, hence him still living in the joint home. But yes, I need to pee on the potty or get off.

Forget about the people who he is letting to, they are neither your business nor your responsibility, concentrate on the legalities from your side and what you want to happen there.

He's never going to becone less scary. That house is half yours. Get to a solicitor and get the ball rolling. If he gets threatening, that's what the police are for.

Isn't calling your ex abusive akin to 'my ex-pycho girlfriend'? Seems like every ex husband or BF was abusive on MN.

@SauceGirl just calling a spade a spade.

He's lining up his next victim. Chilling.

Tbf though if you asked one of those guys WHY their ex was 'crazy'. He would either struggle to answer because he hadn't thought that far ahead...or it'd be because she didn't like him going on piss ups with the boys or she 'always nagged' him to take out the bins. Or similar shit. That's how he would have felt she treated him badly. Where as 'my ex was abusive' = actual bad treatment. When it's true at least. Where as 'crazy' is just an indiscriminate slur.

Tbf he'll probably be nice as pie to this woman. For a while at least. He's still playing white Knight. Hopefully she'll get out of there before he turns.

He's lining up his next victim. Chilling

My thoughts exactly. How do I warn her?

Anonymous letter?

Make sure to change it from your normal handwriting though.

Something like 'hello, sorry to be the barer off bad news but I couldn't just not say anything. The man letting you stay in this property is not nice and I am rather worried for your safety. I do hope you can find somewhere else that is safe to be. Perhaps speak with women's aid for guidance? Sorry to be so cryptic. Wishing you all the best. But seriously, run'.

Tbh him letting a property out is none of your concern.

If you want to sort your finances out approach a solicitor.

Find a solicitor and get the property divided and proper child maintenance for you children.

Whether or not he's letting something to someone is irrelevant.

It would be funny if there wasn't a vulnerable woman involved. Has he dated much since you left?

I know re vulnerable woman. I also question why she would rent from a single man in this situation. No hes not dated much at all as far as I'm aware.