Is it too late?

[TreesandStripes]

I've recently ended a relationship of nearly a year, it just wasn't right and it transpired that we didn't want the same things. I'm now back on OLD and just starting to feel despair. I'm turning 39 this autumn and feel like my time is running out.

I am really lucky in that I have a son from a previous a relationship, but I had him so young, in an unstable/abusive relationship, had no money and everything was a struggle.

I always dreamed that I would one day meet someone else and get a second chance to enjoy a pregnancy, make mum friends my own age, be able to afford to go to baby classes, raise a baby in a stable home with a supportive partner.

I've worked hard these past ten years and am in a better place financially, have a decent career and have made a pretty good life for me and DC.

I'm proud of myself for amicably ending a relationship that wasn't right for, I would never have done that 5 years ago, so that's a really good step. I know that what I need to do is keep moving forward, focus on myself and my son and continue putting myself out there, but another year older I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that it may never happen. I only have a few years of having my son at home with me and I just feel so sad that soon it's all over, when my peers are right in the middle of the toddler/baby/primary years. I feel so jealous when I see pregnant women and happy groups of mums out with their babies/toddlers in the playground. I feel I've made so many poor decisions in my youth and just messed it all up.

I know I'm really lucky in so many ways and wish I could just enjoy what I have, but feeling the pressure of the biological clock ticking....

Have you had fertility checks done t see whether you'd even be able to conceive? At 39 your fertility could already be impacted...

If you're in a good position financially and your first son is older now, would you consider looking into sperm donation then looking for a partner in slower time?

@Musttryharder2021

Have you had fertility checks done t see whether you'd even be able to conceive? At 39 your fertility could already be impacted...

No I haven't and you are right, it may already be too late... I guess it would be a good idea to check but I'm worried it could just make me feel more stressed and hopeless.

@Fatherliamdeliverance

I did consider this, but I'm not sure I want to go through single parenthood again. The financial strain, emotional pressure. It was a happy family and supportive partner I'd always dreamed of... But I realise it's unrealistic at this stage.

I'm a single mother by choice and had my son recently via IVF and using a sperm donation.

Spent the best part of the last 20 years or so looking for that elusive partner with whom I could do the "family" thing with. I was even married at one point in my 30s but we were too incompatible for anything to change. Aged 39, and realising that time was truly running out, and having found out via fertility checks that one of my fallopian tubes was blocked, I'd decided it was then or never. My son is here and he's wonderful! I'm doing this 100% alone as I'm sure you appreciate Op is hard work but extremely rewarding. I no longer pine after a man to do the "family thing" with, it's literally gone! I get to parent how I want and share his milestones with family and friends.

It's impossible to say whether there's time left to meet someone and have a second child and do it the "conventional" way. It's hard enough to date when childless but I'd say harder with a child in tow...I second getting your fertility checked out. You'd surely be discussing this even if you were to meet someone? It'd help you make informed decisions going forward.

Have a child anyway, you can still be a family as men don't always step up to the family plate.