My friend has suffered with bulimia for many years now and only a few of us close friends know. She has been going counselling for it for a couple of years and it fluctuates, so she has good periods where she has it under control but on the flip side some really bad periods with it too.
She moved away and lived the opposite side of the country and so we kept in touch but being long distance it's hard to truly know what's going on apart from what she told me over the phone, especially as it was during lockdown so visits were a no-no. Anyway, she moved back home about 6 months ago and we've gone out a few times and it is something we talk about, but she tends to skirt around the topic and is very good at pretending that everything's ok.
The past couple of times we've gone out for dinner/drinks, I've noticed that she goes to the toilet frequently and always always after food. It's also not an obvious 'right I'm going to the toilet' instead she will make an excuse to use the phone or go for a cigarette and then heads to the toilet after. It's very clear that she doesn't want anyone to join her.
I make a conscious effort to not suggest going for lunch/dinner and suggest other things to do like cinema but on these occasions it's mutual friends who have organised these nights out and who are unaware of her bulimia, when I ask her if she feels comfortable about it she always says she does. As id be more than happy to join everyone with her after dinner is over if she didn't. I also don't ask every time as I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by bringing the subject up, so I try and tread carefully but I'm finding it difficult to know what to say/do.
Does anybody have any experience of bulimia and what I can do as a friend to help her? If you've suffered/suffer with an eating disorder is there anything you wish your friend(s) would do to help?