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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Over sensitive?

5 replies

Bubbles121212121 · 15/04/2022 10:13

Am I being over sensitive? When I was around 10 years old, my step father, wanted me and my older sister to sit on his lower back to give him a massage, not just his back but also his chest and legs, we also massage our mother, both with oils and top less. When I said about this to our mother recently she said we got sweets out of it and that there was nothing wrong with it. How I look at it is. I wouldn't dream of asking my children to give me a back massage because I see it as a couple thing. Our mother saw that my step dad done nothing wrong and worth ship the ground he walks on. He was an alcoholic that smash Windows and he treated his step children as slaves. His daughter and our mother's said that, discipline back then was acceptable, shouting in our faces and walking into bathrooms while having a bath, calling us stupid, slaming my older sister against the wall when refusing to do something.

OP posts:
totallyoutnumbered · 15/04/2022 12:00

No you're not being over sensitive at all. This was abuse and your mother didn't protect you and your sister OP 😞. Have you thought about having any counselling or discussed this with your sister as adults?x

Bubbles121212121 · 15/04/2022 13:34

I'm on a waiting list to see a Councillor, I have spoken to my older sister, I have stopped speaking to alot of my family, mother included because she feels she done no wrong. She allowed that man into our lives, who she watched chased us with nettles, poured washing up liquid down our throats, hit us, slam the door on my older sisters hand. She enjoyed it.

OP posts:
Tulipsandviolets · 15/04/2022 13:41

No you're not being over sensitive this is totally wrong & abusive behaviour. So sorry you went through this Flowers

speakball · 15/04/2022 13:55

You're probably under sensitive having had that abuse as a child. You probably tolerate treatment you shouldn't. Counselling will help you find your voice. Your family are likely to say and do things to make it seem like you're being unreasonable thinking what happened is unacceptable. This is what usually happens and is because it's easier for them to make you the problem. They would rather abuse you again by gaslighting than accept reality. Do you have many people you can talk to in real life?

RoyKentsChestHair · 15/04/2022 13:58

He sounds psychopathic. Honestly from the snapshot here you are under reacting if you even have to ask. He was a cunt and your mum was too for allowing him into her childrens home and letting him abuse you. The massages are the least of it, but as part of a bigger picture then yes, having to get up close and personal with your abusers for their physical pleasure is sick.

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope the counselling can help you to move on and cut them out of your life

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