Siblings turning into elderly parents! Advice / experience???

[Inbetweenie993]

I am the youngest of 5. Three of them are causing me headaches! Love them but....spending an hour on the phone to each every day. Feeling like an unpaid counselling service. Never mind that I have my own issues mental health wise.

My bro is coming on Saturday - having an operation next week. I want to scream and feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Our parents are gone, and now it's like having 3 parents with disabilities, mental health issues.

Dont really know what I'm asking - maybe just looking for sympathy!

Perhaps if anyone could share coping mechanisms??? 0r just join me in screaming my head off!!!!

Obviously your role in the family is that of an emotional dumping ground. If you spend an hour a day each sibling then you are asking to be dumped on. It sounds very unhealthy and enmeshed. I have not spoken to two of my sibligs in years- no more drama. If you like being dumped on then keep doing what you are doing.

I'll join you, I'm also the youngest of 5. A couple of them have major health issues and I'm struggling with watching them age and how much their worlds are shrinking.
It socks really.

Oh blimey! Yes all of them are dumping on me - what do I do? Apart from changing my phone number? I hold my tongue and let them get away with all sorts of shit.....

Goodness, that sounds awful
How old are they? Do they really need help or are they CFs?

75, 72, 71 Arghhh. feeling like the parent - at the end of my tether!

Whats a CF? Sorry - new to forum.

Put your foot down and tell them to get paid help

Usually people can help each other out at that age though, is there any way that could work?

But … Other people have siblings - I do myself - and no one else is spending an hour a day on each of them. Just you.

Why?

@Inbetweenie993

Whats a CF? Sorry - new to forum.

Oh sorry Cheeky Fucker

Are they asking for stuff they can actually do for themselves, is what I was wondering.

An hour on each sibling every day?????

Have you got yourself into a routine with them where they call at a certain time? Are they aware that they're all calling you like this?

Unless you feel you can be honest with them, you need to start making yourself less available. Say you're busy. They don't need to know doing what, but they might ask. Some people, when they get used to having something, feel entitled to keep having it so they might probe.

That's a huge age gap between you and them unless you are in your 70s.

How old are you?

Do they not have their own children or friends to confide in?

With regards to your brother, is he able to get himself help rather than come to yours? It sounds like a lot

Thanks all. Yes - I am much younger than them. Think I am being taken advantage of ... hard to be "less kind" but I will think on your words of wisdom and be less available.

They all live alone and only one has kids - who are less than supportive. Have tried them!