Loss of a friendship anyone been through it

[Seasidesunday]

Best friend of 17 years is no longer returning my texts and calls and I’ve not been invited to her wedding. I feel so hurt and sad I’ve cried over it too but don’t feel I can talk to anyone in real life. It feels like I’m going through a big break up at the moment.

Had a friend who did this, eventually found/worked out she couldn't believe I'd married before her as she was 'thinner and prettier'
It's sad as we'd been bf (I'd thought!) Since 12. I can now see she thought she was 'above' me and saw me as a tag a long friend. Just slightly hurtful!

Its so painful op when this happens

You'll probably never know what the issue is, but it coincides with her new relationship developing then I'd place money on it being to do with her fiance. Maybe he made "her or me" comments to her, maybe she thinks you're a threat in someway, perhaps he doesn't like you...Who knows. But I've seen these reasons end friendships before.

Grieve as much as you need to and focus on yourself and moving on

@Seasidesunday

I just keep thinking I must have done something wrong but can’t think what

Just ask her. I ghosted a friend for a few reasons. She made quite a lot of effort but never actually asked me why I was avoiding her.

It's quite difficult to ask someone who blocks you or doesn't reply to any contact.

@Seasidesunday sorry to hear this is happening to you. I think I am going through the same thing. A close friend of mine has gone AWOL. Last month we were doing our usual chatting over text and the next minute she's stopped replying. It was so sudden I thought she had died but I now know she's alive. I have no idea why this has happened, I've known her over 35 years! It could be me, perhaps I am not the good friend I thought I was to her or maybe it is her? However, I also feel like I am too old to be chasing her for an explanation so apart from an initial message to check she was ok, I have left it alone. Sad but it is out of my control.

I suddenly realised she wasn't very nice to me. She made me anxious, she was competitive and she had no empathy. I eventually cut interaction with someone because of this. I did try several times to talk to her about it but she couldn’t or wouldn’t. It was incredibly sad and on some level I still miss her but I think she is happier and it couldn’t continue because her comments were making my day to day life very hard. Sometimes it’s for the best OP.

I've been there and it felt worse than when my long term relationship ended... By a mile. I think this isn't a topic talked about much but a friend break up is so upsetting, I'd say more than a romantic relationship.

It does get easier and I no longer even think about her but for a long time I mourned our friendship

I’ve had this happen - we drifted. She moved on with her life. Stopped seeing alot of friends. I cried on my wedding day for her and the birth of my last child. I do wanted to share them with her.

We got back in touch a couple of years ago. The last few months I have now understood why it all happened. It was nothing to do with me.

Keep those lines of communication open. In your case I’d message her. Set out your stall literally.

Dear x I’m a little confused as to what had gone wrong with our friendship as I’m not aware of any falling out or me offending/upsetting you. I understand you are getting married soon and haven’t received an invitation which has compounded my concerns that something has shifted. If there is any issues I need to be aware of please let me know. If there aren’t and you have done a life audit which doesn’t include me then I’ll accept that with sadness.

@DidgeDoolittle

It's quite difficult to ask someone who blocks you or doesn't reply to any contact.

Put a card through their door/in the post.

“Why are you upset with me? Please tell me, so we can talk about it.”

Easy, if the will is there.