Parents talking to me about their marriage, I don't want to hear it

[rertgrfgtrf]

I'm 25 and am my parents' eldest child. My parents have always talked to me about things, I've always been brought into their arguments to decide who is right or wrong, I had to offer emotional support to my parents as a child.

My Dad recently had an affair. My parents keep talking about it to me, they just can't help but shift the conversation to it. My Mum complaining about my Dad, telling me how she hates him (they won't get divorced). My Dad has been saying things to me like it's because he has been lonely, it's not his fault... It just makes me feel so icky and disgusting. I don't want to hear about it. It feels so inappropriate.

Today my Dad sent me and my Mum a group text saying he has been feeling lonely and depressed, etc.

I feel guilty but I just don't want to be involved or hear it.

If you can possibly afford it, research reputable psychotherapists, pick your favourite and start seeing them regularly. They have no right to use you as they are using you. You can love your parents AND not put up with their shit.
Dump the feelings of guilt, and tell yourself every day multiple times that you have your own life to live. Really focus on yourself and what you want in life. Any time they attempt to drag you in to their circus, remind yourself you are not a clown. Repeat the same stock line to them when they start “That’s between you two and I’d like to change the subject”. If they ignore you, leave/hang up the phone. Feign being extremely busy. If you live with them, plan to get out. Sending you courage

They are being horrible to do this to you. It's their circus, their monkeys. They both have access to (a) therapy, (b) the courts, and (c) each other, for their emotional dance, without involving you inappropriately.

I hope you are ok.

Read up on enmeshment and how it isn't healthy for you. Take space and establish boundaries with them. You are not their emotional partner, you are their child.