Hi all,
I posted recently having announced two and half weeks ago to Hubby of 14 yrs I want to call it a day. Our DD, now 7 was born and he became very selfish (always was I'd say but def more noticeable). He has a mean streak and was very resentful of her for a long time. His behaviour drove a wedge between us and compounded with many other things, finally I realised I shouldn't be with him anymore. I had tried to fix things along the way but it would always be me with no effort from me. He'd spend more time on his computer building his online profile and 99% of the time refuse to do anything with DD.
After calling it a day the other week, he was initially distraught, cried for two days, rolled off all the things he perceived as failing on (he was spot on). Fast forward, he keeps pretending everything's okay and so have had to remind him at least 3 times that my mind hasn't changed and that we should work things out going forward for DD.
Now he's saying that DD is not leaving and will staying with him. He wants me to stay too and said he wants me to work full time and him to work part time, effectively making him primary carer! I work part time already and home educate my DD so very busy doing stuff with her. He hasn't worked since December and our savings are disappearing fast. He's told me I will be ripping the family apart and doing so much damage to DD, just like was one to him when his Dad left he said. He's now acting like the father he should have all along and demanding a second chance, but it's too late for me. His mom is also very ill but i've put of leaving for years because of one thing or another and can't bear to do it any more. Does that make me selfish?
He's prepared to go to court.. despite me saying I'd want him to see her everyday and be there for her??
I 've just viewed a property today that i like and filled out the application form to rent, but I'm struggling to press 'submit'. Scared incase he blows up when he finds out, hard to talk to and worried about how this will affect dd because of what he's said. I've been having counselling which has helped tremedously and will do for DD when the time comes. I really want to just go but so hesitant to move forward for the trouble it may bring.
Please if anyone has any words of wisdom and similar experiences I'd love to hear how you got over this hurdle to know I'm not alone.
Thanks.