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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do I feel this hurt over a narcissist

2 replies

Hurtmama91 · 13/04/2022 19:24

My ex dp and I were together for a year and a half but the relationship was very intense. We moved in together during the lockdown and I found out I was pregnant unplanned at this point my loving and caring man and all the promises he’d made for our future turned vile and unkind and ran a mile before coming back late into my pregnancy and telling me how much of a mistake he’s made. I found out a few months ago through social media that he’d had a fiancée the entire time and basically lived a double life. I was understandably devastated whilst trying to look after a newborn and contacted the other woman who knew nothing about me either. I found out today they’d got married a few weeks ago as I was suspicious about his sudden lack of contact with our daughter.

I am not sure if it’s shock or if I was trauma bonded to him but I feel like he’s gotten away with so much hurt towards me and our child. We slept together at Christmas as I didn’t know he was engaged and I was doing my best to try and forgive him for the sake of our child. I saw him only two weeks before his wedding and he tried holding my hand which I told him was absolutely unacceptable.

I don’t want him back in any way, shape or form and I would never have been in a relationship knowing his secrets. But how can I ever get over this betrayal? He has caused me so much trauma I think I’m in survival mode. He has yet to tell his family or friends that he has fathered a child and is playing the golden boy.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 13/04/2022 20:16

I'd actually more awaý and hope he never wanted contact with the child.

I can't imagine the family of a narcissist are going to be the best grandparents to my child so I wouldn't feel guilty there.

Hopefully as he is engaged he will take this get out of jail free card and leave you tf alone. Less contact a child has to have with an evil person, the better.

oatmilkicedchai · 18/09/2022 05:37

What happened with this in the end OP? @Hurtmama91 I have actually been wondering if your ex-dp is my ex-dp -- not joking, unfortunately!

Other than that, I hope things have improved for you somewhat?

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