Bf going away travelling - excited for him but

[slowturtles]

My bf is going travelling for 3 weeks soon with a few friends, all booked before he knew me and before covid which kept getting cancelled. He is finally going next week. He is so excited and I am so excited for him.

I am a very anxious person and an anxious attacher. I have my fair share of worrying, panicking if he doesn’t text me etc. In general we have a great relationship but I do have bouts of anxiety. He is genuinely lovely and so caring.

Now obviously I want him to have the best time and I’m so excited for him. And obviously I don’t want him to be glued to his phone texting me. I know he will update me each day when he can.

I guess what I’m asking is the best way to deal with it. I know I’ll keep busy which is the best thing, I’m just worried about getting upset when he’s (rightfully) not texting me throughout the day, and I really don’t want to feel like that as I just want him to have fun. Especially as it’s for 3 weeks which is quite long.

I’ll keep busy and I’ll be working but I find it hard to switch my brain off. He’s also said he will update each day but terrible at multitasking (bless him) and so might forget at times.

Any tips? :) thanks all

I should probably say interrailing rather than travelling!

It can be tough - the best thing you can do is plan fun things for yourself - a lot of things, and stay very busy. Work won't cut it. Fun things, too.

Plan yourself an amazing three weeks.

Kiss him goodbye and tell him you can't wait for when he gets back. Tell him you won't bother him too much as you want him to have a good time.

Do the things you love doing and send him a text at the beginning of every week to say 'hi, hope you have the BEST week xxx' then get on with your life.

This is the best way to foster a good relationship with him where you are clear that you trust him and are not possessive but that you do very much want to be with him.

You will put across that:

you're stable
you're mature
you want him
but you won't chase him
you can do just fine without him
you are thinking about him, but not in an obsessive way

Thanks guys! Definitely want to come across that way. And I AM excited for him. Just want to avoid the actual feeling of waiting on him to text etc

I have an anxious attachment style too, OP. & I feel like a paranoid crazy person if I don’t get a text back within the hour. So I can totally sympathise with how you are feeling right now

Keep yourself busy. Try not to pester him or get upset if you haven’t heard from him in a certain period of time, as traveling, he’ll be occupied and immersed in activities/cultures.

Have some pamper/girly days planned. I am sure the 3 weeks will fly by for both of you. Xx

@mrziggycoco

Plan yourself an amazing three weeks.

Kiss him goodbye and tell him you can't wait for when he gets back. Tell him you won't bother him too much as you want him to have a good time.

Do the things you love doing and send him a text at the beginning of every week to say 'hi, hope you have the BEST week xxx' then get on with your life.

This is the best way to foster a good relationship with him where you are clear that you trust him and are not possessive but that you do very much want to be with him.

You will put across that:

you're stable
you're mature
you want him
but you won't chase him
you can do just fine without him
you are thinking about him, but not in an obsessive way

This is great advice. I would add: please don't expect/send a text message every day. This is a difficult thing to comply with when you are travelling, and if he doesn't manage to keep it up every day your anxiety will increase. A text as above at the start of each week is a great idea.