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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Five and half relationship

3 replies

Vintagechic72 · 13/04/2022 14:00

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see ourdomestic violence webguideand/orrelationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Found camera in house208

OP’s posts:See all

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Today 08:47SVRT19674

Oops just read your update...

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Today 09:13DaggerIsle

Wasn't he meant to show you the footage and the log ins?

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Today 09:18marriedwithhounds

Jesus, this is dark. Definitely get out. I don't like the sound of him turning it on you ('I can't believe you think that...') or the love bombing with the promises of money and treats. Sounds like grooming and gaslighting.

Run!

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Today 09:31billy1966

Creepy as fxxk.

I think your instincts are correct.

The night wakings that you somehow weren't hearing is so premeditated and gaslighting.

Is it a police matter if your spouse is filming you in your home without your consent?

I think it is.

Perhaps Women's aid will be able to tell you.

He sounds like a manipulative, untrustworthy creep.

I would not want him in the house.

He needs to move out and you need time

I'm so sorry.

I don't think you know the truth at all.
There is something going on.
His verbal diarrhoea trying to worm his way out is very damning.

I wouldn't trust him for a minute.

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Today 12:19AgathaX

I'm sorry this has turned out like this but so relieved that you can see it for what it is. I hope you get through to WA ok and get good advice from them. He sounds as creepy as fuck.

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Today 12:22mrziggycoco

So you don't believe him/trust him? (this is the dealbreaker)

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Today 13:35Vintagechic72

In a 5.5yr relationship. I had a stressful move last year back living with the parents temporarily and he made no suggestion of me moving in with him - we are both in our 50s. In those years of being together we have broken up in the early days of the relationship for a couple of days (I did the breaking up) then we got back together. Since 2019 we have had no sex, no intimacy to be honest, we don't touch/cuddle in bed and I only see him twice a week as he is paranoid that people think I have moved in with him if I stay more than two nights at his house which is a council house. If we go away, he turns on the hotel bedroom TV for sport, it's sport everything; he doesn't like his routine upset if I suggest out of the blue I will stay over; he gets irked. He has to get up early around 5am and has to be in bed early as 745/8pm so we don’t go out in the evenings and he also has health issues that he doesn't want to sort out which are related to drink. To be honest I am drained of this relationship, tried talking to him but he brushed it off, my 50th I went away on my own as he couldn't get time off which he could of easily have done. His weekends are for sport so can't stay with him and our 5yr anniversary he went to bed early, no sex and left the hotel room to go to work instead of getting somewhere to cover his shift which he can also have done. When I do stay at his, its about two hours before he goes to bed and all together I only spend 8 times seeing him in a month. I'm not that unattractive and have always looked after myself but this is seriously now taking a toll on my health and no idea what to do as this is definitely not normal. Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
IsDaveThere · 13/04/2022 14:38

No, it's not normal. Why are you still with him? You need to get rid of this loser, you deserve far better.

Watchkeys · 13/04/2022 16:43

I don't understand why you're staying with him? Why are you staying with him?

CrowAndArrow · 13/04/2022 21:51

Why aren't you leaving him ?

Sounds awful!

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