Siblings landmark birthday

[WhiteJellycat]

My dsis has a big birthday coming up. She said a few times over the past few years she wanted to share it with friends and family. She has arranged to go holiday for the birthday with her friends and told me I could join for one day but if I cant make it that's fine as she would prefer to do something different with the kids.

Do I take this at face value that it's a "come if you want but I would prefer I saw your kids separately"

I do struggle with reading between the lines and do take things quite literally. I will ask her outright. Just not really sure what to make of this.

I knew there was no plans to included me in the "friends and family" as it's been apparent my availability hasnt been sought or invite to join the holiday without the kids on my own.

We used to be so close. Before i had kids. In my heart I'm not feeling like I'm anywhere near being in the people she wants to share her big day with.

I think writing that down has given me my answer reading it back.

I think she plans to spend it with her friends and has invited you to be polite, sorry if that is not what you wanted to read. She maybe just prefers to keep areas of her life separate though and it is no reflection on her feelings for you.

It's possible she thinks you would prefer to do something with your children and her. So she's inviting you to this event but making clear you aren't obliged. She's saying she'd like to do something separate with you and your children so I wouldn't be offended by it.

I tend to be the same. I celebrate stuff with friends and family separately. I can enjoy them both more that way.

I don't think it's you so much as she wants an adult holiday so you can go but not your kids?

@Teeturtle

I think she plans to spend it with her friends and has invited you to be polite, sorry if that is not what you wanted to read. She maybe just prefers to keep areas of her life separate though and it is no reflection on her feelings for you.

This is what I think too. I knew she had this planned out in her mind for over a year. It's all arranged and booked before I'm invited.

I dont think she wants me there but without the kids either as she knows I can and do stay places without the kids and dh is happy to hold the fort with the kids.

I dont really want to go for the day without the kids as its aunties birthday and they will work out they was excluded . If it was a random day out / holiday with auntie they would blink but this isnt the same.

I'm going to say that if shed prefer to do something separate with the kids then we will be llead by her preference.