Nc with partner - break up

[tillybub]

Hey all just looking for some advice/stories to get me through the next wee while.

On Thursday, my partner of 2.5 years and I mutually decided to split. We both thought this was it. He had become distant over the last month or two yet said my depression was clouding my judgement, turns out it wasn’t my depression but my gut telling me things were wrong. He since admitted he was burying his head in the sand. I became a nervous wreck not eating or sleeping and felt extreme anxiety but convinced myself I must have just been making things up. I don’t feel that I want the relationship back as it has really hurt me that someone can use your mental health against you instead of being honest about their own feelings!

Obviously I am going through the motions with it being so raw and it is so hard not to want to wish for all those things we had once dreamed about together. I’m reading break up blogs constantly!!

I’m struggling with checking his social media/snap location. So tonight I have asked my sister to log in and change the password (how sad!). I know this is going to be so tough to break the habit but for the sake of myself it needs to happen.

Does anyone have any happy stories of breaking up/bettering themselves and what they did to ease the pain? Xx

Oh I'm sorry. I know what you mean

I threw myself into all the things I didn't have time for before we split. Tried salsa (turns out I'm rubbish). Tried borrow my doggy (much more my kind of thing)

But basically I gave myself permission to just be. When I was with my ex I sort of enmeshed my life with his. I enjoyed just chilling when I wanted to. Oh and I took up running and got quite good at it.

Well done on the social media thing. I found that the hardest too.

Yes that is the problem I have. Our life was his life if you get me. Not through him being controlling just through me being very accommodating. It’s one thing I won’t let happen in the next relationship. I never even thought of borrow my doggy, that is totally my thing!

Funnily enough I’m finding evenings ok but the mornings are so painful. I could maybe run in the mornings to break the sadness cycle.

I'm struggling with the end of a relationship too. I'm trying to set myself a new routine to stop myself falling into bad habits. Things like cooking healthy meals - I ordered a hello fresh box and I actually make the effort to cook rather than shove a pizza in the oven lol.

Mornings are tough. Going for a run/walk/yoga class would be so beneficial though!

I did borrow my doggy after a break up, 7 years later I still look after the gorgeous pup. It was so lovely to get out and walk in the fresh air. You meet lots of other lovely dog owners too. I have made a best friend from another dog owner I met whilst walking. I also took up drumming at aged 53! Through that I met my now gorgeous and unbelievably loving boyfriend who is also a drummer. Those 2 amazing experiences would never have happened if my ex didn’t leave me for someone else.

@Penguinwaddler the eating is proving a little difficult at the moment though I am starting to get a rumbly tummy at meal times! I’m feeling a lot less anxious but it can just come over you at anytime! Stick with it, good food, good sleep and fresh air

@litterbird right that’s just sold it to me, I’m away to look at borrow my doggy! I bet you had no idea what lovely future awaited you in that post break up haze. That is so nice to hear that a loss brought you 2 amazing gains!

@tillybub I'd recommend gousto or hello fresh then, gives you motivation to cook and take your mind off things whilst figuring out the recipe lol! Alternatively, some nice ready meals to see you through xx