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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just moved in together and feeling...flat

2 replies

warofthemonstertrucks · 12/04/2022 15:24

Just moved in with DP and his two children (and my two younger children) a few weeks ago after 5 years of dating and then living between each other's houses. I love the house, (though it was a bit of a wrench moving from my old house which was in a a place location wise that I really loved), and which I was attached to (the house itself). I really wanted to move in with DP however so I considered it worth the change. The kids are all very happy and excited. We were very excited to move and to start making it our own (which is the bit I love doing).

However the moving process was incredibly stressful. Incompetent solicitors. And move day itself was awful-we didn't complete until 5 to five in the evening.
DP's ex wife kicked up (as we thought she might-she can be quite spiteful despite having moved in with the person she ended their marriage for herself) and refused to let his children stay with us on moving in day (his allocated night but she made up some nonsense reason they couldn't come). That was incredibly stressful for DP and therefore for me,watching him be so upset.

We have no wardrobes yet so can't unpack properly. I recently
Started a new job which is a lot to get my head around.

I thought it would be such a happy time but I just feel so low and flat.
We finally have all four kids there together these next few days ( been delayed due to ex wife's shenanigans and mine being with their dad for the first week of Easter hols) and I should be feeling really happy and elated and I just....don't.

Anyone had experience of this? I'm
Not usually like this and I don't know how to shake myself out of it-and I don't want it to affect everyone else's moving in experience!

OP posts:
misskatamari · 12/04/2022 15:36

I think it's a really natural reaction to be honest. It's been a stressful time, and we all imagine how we want things to go in our heads, and if things fall short it can feel a bit meh. Try not to beat yourself up about it. You feel how you feel, and that's okay. It will pass I promise, and will pass a lot more quickly if you can accept that's how you feel right now, and have lots of self compassion for yourself. It's a big change, and I'm sure given time you will be back to feeling positive and happily settled in your new home.

I listened to a great podcast last week about expectations being a huge thief of joy, might be worth a listen (it's a podcast that often mentions chronic pain issues, but the host Nicole is just so wise, and it's about the mind body as opposed to physical symptoms, just incase the name puts you off) overcast.fm/+PIo-P67v4

Badbaddog · 12/04/2022 15:47

You’re just tired, give yourself a break. You’ll bounce back after a few good sleeps

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