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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Give me hope - stories of finally finding someone

34 replies

Kai1981 · 11/04/2022 16:49

Two years out of a very traumatic divorce, started dating again and met someone lovely but it didn't work out.

I'm still having a very tough time of it personally (but working on myself, counselling, meditation, the works). Not in a rush to jump into a relationship but struggling to keep going with dating, even though I do want to meet someone. I need some hope really.

Can you share your stories of meeting someone after a long time of looking please?

OP posts:
peachgreen · 13/04/2022 17:02

Thanks @excelledyourself and anyone else who reported that post, but please don't worry - like most widowed people, I'm used to the occasional judgemental prick and it's water off a duck's back at this stage!

CrowAndArrow · 13/04/2022 17:07

@peachgreen so sorry for your loss.

I met my DP 3 years ago, by accident after being single for 6 years.

Anything is possible

Xfan · 13/04/2022 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

peachgreen · 13/04/2022 17:17

Thanks @CrowAndArrow, I appreciate that. I'm not really intending to do much about it other than expand my own interests and passions, and if someone comes along that way that will be lovely! Meeting DH was such a surprise but it felt like fate - I trust in that, and am happy to see what happens naturally as the years go by.

Oh @Xfan - what happened in your life to make you so unkind and bitter? I'm sorry for whatever it was.

Kai1981 · 13/04/2022 18:57

Thank you so much for the lovely stories. They really are a help.

@peachgreen So sorry for your loss. Really appreciate you being so open. I hope you find someone kind and lovely again soon.

I didn't see the @xfan post before it was deleted but I can imagine... I think it says a lot about @xfan that they've felt the need to bring their unwanted, negative opinions onto something that is supposed to be uplifting and positive. But I suspect @xfan gets some joy out of doing just that. Whatever gets you off I suppose.

OP posts:
BabyNo11989 · 13/04/2022 22:41

I get why OP is asking… I found hearing about other people finally meeting somebody helpful, gave me hope that maybe there was a chance for me too.

Younger years = awful, cheating, abusive partner that kept me dangling on a string for years until I finally clocked on that he’s a narc POS and removed myself from his miserable orbit.

Met another guy through work, also a cheating lying POS.

Met another one, also through work, turned out to be secretly gay.

I then decide to try to be happy alone and start working on myself, since clearly I am picking all the wrongens here and there’s some underlying issue 😂
Learn to love self and respect self all that sort of thing. This is absolutely a must, I feel.

Few online dates, some lovely and others a bit odd but no real luck

Met somebody else, randomly, few months of fun but he also turned out to be a bit of a wrongen, less so than the others tbf. Helped confidence to grow, I’ll give him that.

This series of events spans over about 10 years, leading to present day…

As I was about to give up, somehow found my DP on OLD by pure chance. Initially didn’t think he was for me at all until friends kindly explained it’s because he’s decent and not a waste of skin like my usual pattern… Couldn’t be happier now and life changed in all the ways I could never imagine before.

It happens… you just have to keep on trying, be brave and hope for the best!

Kai1981 · 14/04/2022 11:45

Sorry you had a tough time of it @BabyNo11989, but so glad to hear that things are better.

Definitely inspiring me to keep going!

OP posts:
Nahnahnah · 14/04/2022 11:48

I was with my ex husband for 23 years. Stayed purposely single for nearly 4 years (concentrated on my children and healing myself) before trying OLD. Met someone within 6 weeks, I was absolutely ruthless and stuck to my standards. I am now with my true soul mate, I'm closer to him in the 6 months of being together than I ever was in the 23 years I was with my ex. I'm in my 40s and I've never been happier in my life. Good luck on your journey.

Kai1981 · 15/04/2022 09:21

Oh that is lovely to hear. Thank you for sharing!

OP posts:
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