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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried that Ex Might Have Filmed Me

6 replies

SucculentChalice · 10/04/2022 23:09

Thoughts on this please because its been niggling away at me and I've read a couple of newspaper reports where men have been convicted of filming their ex girlfriends doing the deed.

Basically ex bf made a comment about having a hidden camera which I thought was a joke when he moved into his new house and I visited him there for the first time. Thats it really. I can hardly go to the police and say I'm concerned just due to that. I will look like a crazy ex girlfriend. I later found out that he is a fairly compulsive liar about major stuff and will spin lies to suit himself. His behaviour is odd to say the least. I've been no contact with him since the relationship ended.

But I'm genuinely worried by the prospect that he might have actually filmed me having sex and what he might have done or do with the film, if he did such a thing.

OP posts:
falloutcheer · 21/04/2022 15:57

How long ago did this happen? Sounds disturbing

decentchap · 21/04/2022 16:21

This type of behaviour has been outlawed as in - made illegal. If you says he has a film/photo of you in compromising position, simply advise him to be careful you have already informed the police.
You can contact the police for help/advice with the possibility and they may well visit him, I am sure you could control that - certainly would put him in his place and they would advise him if you allow contact, he will be arrested if he conveys such material to a third party.
Dont worry - it doesnt matter what you did its private and can remain so - talk to the girls in blue for reassurance.

SucculentChalice · 21/04/2022 17:15

It happened a year ago. I didn't consent to being filmed, and I don't know if he filmed me or not. He refuses to speak to me at all since ending the relationship. My only concern is that he made a joke about having a hidden camera in his bedroom. It was out of context and odd. I really can't decide if thats enough to go to the police on as I don't want to waste anyone's time or to make false accusations.

But it keeps niggling away at me that he might have filmed me. Why would he have made such a remark, even as a joke? He wasn't a particularly jokey person.

OP posts:
HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 21/04/2022 17:46

Filming someone having sex without consent is the criminal act of voyeurism, obviously Only you can decide if this was empty thread or not, as clearly there is no proof one way or the other, probably worth a chat with the police I would have thought just to see where you stand

falloutcheer · 21/04/2022 18:02

Could he be planning on bribing you with it as evidence you’re cheating on our DH?

LouB76 · 21/04/2022 18:15

When I was 18 (25 years ago) my ex filmed us having sex. It was on an old video tape. He was my first boyfriend, 8 years older than me. He punched me, so I dumped him. He held the video over me for years. He occasionally tries to get in touch on social media. I block.

I'm so glad the law has changed. Do you think it's worth reporting it to the police. Can they make him destroy the tape, if he still has it?

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