Boyfriend breaking up with me and 6 month old

[Wingingitmama92]

Hi! I'm after any advice please...

My boyfriend of 9 years has told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore. We have a 6 month old son. I didn't even see it coming.
He went to uni as a mature student 3 years ago doing a 4 year course. I've supported him through it all but said I wanted a baby in that time which he agreed.
So it's been a stressful time for him with uni, working and being a first time dad. He's an amazing dad but I'm utterly heartbroken. I'm sad for our son, I'm sad I'm left to do most things On my own. I feel numb inside. I know he's not going to change his mind as things have gone to far now with family getting involved. I cry myself to sleep every night as this isn't the life I wanted for my son, I wanted a lovely little
Family like all my friends.
Not only do I have the worry of doing it alone. I have the worry of finances.
Can someone please guide me on what kind of help I'd be entitled too? I work 20
Hours a week and privately rent from my dad. I need to pay rent as it's income for my dad so thus isn't an option.
My ex still wants to be very much involved in our sons life but I can't get my head round now it's going to all work.

Please tell me heartbreak gets easier...

Thankyou

It gets easier, I promise. And actually, at some point you'll be happier than you thought possible because you're living your life without him.

I'm almost 2 years on from my husband leaving when I was 3 months pregnant with dc2, and a 5yo DS. Was heartbroken that my little family didn't work out. He was, and still is, awful to me but I can rise above it now.

Get on to entitledto.co.uk and work out your finances.

Get a childcare arrangement sorted ASAP, and make sure it's not just at your house. Try to keep him out of your space, it helps healing. Do not be bullied by him, do not let him take advantage of you.

I've really made a circle of support with other single mums in my local area which has been so, so supportive In a way my coupled friends just couldn't be .

This is rough. You don't have to thrive it, just survive it for now. I promise, things get better, you will rise to it and you will eventually realise it is his loss. Sending love xx

@Littlegreenfrogcake Thankyou so much for your reply, it really is rough. I'm still can't believe it's happening. I wish I could say he was a horrible person but he really isn't. That's what makes it harder. I wish I hated him.
I really hope one day he regrets walking away, and I'm a better person for going through this xx

Stay strong op, you've got this! You need to be strong for ds make sure you get you time too!

I left my first husband when our baby was 6 months. Financially it was fine, I worked 16hours and got working tax credit ( not sure if this still applies so check that) then there was child maintenance.
It’s hard being heartbroken with a small baby but you have to pull yourself together and get your ducks in a row.
One very savvy single mother I know let’s the dad have the child just under 50:50 to ensure she still gets the cm but can still work a decent amount. Not something I’d like but seems a a good idea financially at least.

Sorry girl, but he is not an amazing person, and his actions tell you this. You've supported him through his further education and he comes to almost the end and now this??

Please get contact sorted officially and look into all the finances ASAP. I know its difficult when you feel shattered, but you need to do this for you and the little one's security. It will help you feel in control too.

Lean on friends, family, other songle parents but you keep your boundaries strong with the ex having access to your space and life.

Take care xx

I'm sorry to hear this op. You've been together for 9 years, why do you think he wants to break up now? Maybe you've both been so busy that you've not had any relationship time (no blame to anyone for this, just circumstance).

I think after 9 years and with a 6 month old it isn't the time to make a decision to split up. It is worth trying to fix it. Find out what's wrong and see what you can do about it.

He’s not amazing. After being with you for 9 years, he leaves when you have a 6 month old? Why not just over 15 months ago? So unfair to you especially after you supported him through uni.

So that being said, it’s likely you’re better off without him.
I was a single parent; we broke up when my daughter was 14 months old. You will be fine financially with part-time work, tax credits and probably other benefits, and of course child maintenance from him. And if you have (or establish) a support network, you will have your own life too.
I’ve had my heart broken very badly and it always feels like it will never mend. But it will, and always does. As someone who has totally been there, here are my suggestions:

-Look forward and create your own goals and a new vision for how you want your life to be. If you are happy, it will be good for your son.
-Have a reorganisation at home. Make it different, even if you only move all the furniture around. Once that’s done, don’t let the ex into your space. It will help.
-Your ex gets to be a part of your sons life, but not part of yours.
-Keep busy. Exercise. Look after yourself.
-Make sure you have someone supportive to talk to. If there is no one then get counselling. Talking always helps.

I understand how you feel. The truth is that many families are non-traditional these days. If you do want to make your ex regret it, then the best thing you can do is forget him and be happy, and in the meantime, act like this is really the case.

As for the situation, think about how you want it to work, and take control of the situation by having some rules.