Seeing ex’s new gf / trying to get out of situationship

[peachmornings]

I feel absolutely terrible this weekend, lowest I have felt for a long time. I broke up with my long term bf of 8 years over a year ago because we had grown apart, and whilst that was the right decision I’m feeling a bit thrown because today I saw via his sisters Instagram story his new gf - a photo of my ex, the new gf and my ex’s family on a day out at the beach. I know it’s probably usual to feel a bit thrown and I know what’s making me feel that way is not so much that I miss my ex but that I feel a failure in seeing this happy photo of him in contrast to how I’m feeling. I’ve been seeing a man since December but we have never even had a conversation about what we are, even if we are exclusive… it’s toxic in so many ways including that he does a lot of coke which has really ramped up recently. I know this and recognise it and know I should just block, delete and move on and find someone who wants what I want (exclusivity, a family in a few years etc) but I’m clinging on against my better judgment. I just don’t know what to do. I suppose I’ve answered my own question but it just feels so bleak starting from scratch yet again, I have felt really sad and lonely all weekend. I do have friends who are supportive thank god but I don’t want to bother them too much. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for someone who feels just exhausted by men/relationships/romance? My heart feels so little hope.

Not much advice really only to just leave. If you're not happy in your relationship then why stay? Enjoy being single and don't put pressure on yourself to find someone.

When you end your current situation, you're a step closer to finding the type of person you're looking for. It won't happen until you make space for them in your life x

Get rid of this absolute loser you are dating. Come on now, op, don't be your own worst enemy.

One of the main reasons you are feeling shit is that the man you are with now is making you unhappy. It is really rubbish to see that an ex, who you probably broke up with for valid and sensible reasons moved on and happy when you feel like you haven’t moved on.
Once you have got rid of new man you will feel shit for a while, then happy again. If you don’t dump him you will get further involved and be really unhappy for a long time.

Thank you. In the moment what can I do? To soothe myself? I’ve never felt despair like it, I feel so disappointed in myself for letting myself be treated badly and for caring so much about the opinion of a man who thinks nothing of me.

You know what you want, a happy settled relationship. It won't be with this guy your seeing, the longer you stay with him the longer to find what your really looking for.

sometimes you think being with the loser stops the loneliness but it's doing more harm than good.

Being alone to heal and feel stronger in yourself is what you need right now, no more poor choices in men and you will get there.

First thing. Tell him its not working. Block. Delete. Process. You'll feel a lot better once you aren't betraying yourself.

Empower yourself by making the decision to end this relationship and take control of your next steps that don't include this man. Guarantee you this relationship will be completely weighing on you.

Remove your exes family from social media if seeing things make you feel shit

Be kind to yourself. Tell yourself you deserve more xx

It's so tough. Seeing your ex have looking happy while you don't feel that you've moved on is always going to be hard, and is totally normal. Remember that social media doesn't always paint an accurate picture. You don't know the ins abs outs of his relationship - but more importantly it didn't work between you two so feel glad that you didn't waste anymore time on it.

Break up with the guy you're seeing and focus on the opportunity of new relationships that are a better fit with you and where you can have the things that were missing in the relationship you had with your ex.
Agree with blocking all his family - but it's easier said that done. Maybe try to focus any sadness/jealousy about him moving on as motivation to find a great match for yourself and change your current situation