Saw my ex for the first time since breakup

[Teatimes2]

When I say I saw him, I drove by as he was walking yesterday. He didn't see me. Breakup was just over a year ago when he told me on the phone he'd never been in love with me, so it's been a tough year, but I'm gradually getting there. However, just seeing him from a distance upset me and I actually cried. I'm annoyed with myself, but I think I've low self esteem after the breakup. I suppose it was better than having to walk by him though as I'd decided if I ever met him, I was just going to give a brief hello and walk on. Just wondering was my reaction normal?

Don't be annoyed with yourself, he really pulled the rug from under you saying he'd never had those feelings (I'm assuming you were together a substantial period, not 3 months). That would take some bouncing back from if you'd been given the impression he had. I suppose you had built up this first time of seeing him again somewhat hence the return of the original upset but you didn't have to face him, you've got it over with and are still standing

Yes, we were together 5 years.

It's good that you'd thought about how you'd respond if you saw him and I think that a neutral hello and then carrying on is the right thing to do.

I also think it's understandable that you'd have a bit of a shock at seeing him unexpectedly for the first time.

If it happens again, I think you'll find that your reaction is less strong.

5 years is a long time and to break up with you over the phone and say that was appalling behaviour from him. Go easy on yourself OP, your feelings are valid whatever they may be. Take the time you need and dont rush youself. Saying that, dont wallow for the next 5 years either ,and as youve rightly done, have a little plan if ever you bump into him again.

No shame at all in how you felt. You obviously cared for him a lot and that emotional connection doesn't disappear overnight and in my experience can take years. I ran in to someone I had a fleeting but intense relationship with for the first time in 10 years and that felt unsettling to say the least. After a year it would have cut me down so try and be kind to yourself.

@Marineboy67 Thanks, that makes me feel better. I've been so up and down emotionally, I doubt I'll ever have another relationship. I was always content on my own... I just need to get back to that place.