Sour OLD experience -

[Ywnaged]

I was hoping mumsnet could give me a little pep talk after a very unpleasant exchange yesterday on OLD.

A guy who I swapped numbers with but never met ‘liked’ one of my photos. I haven’t had contact with him since February when he didn’t respond to a message I sent. No big deal; I moved on.

When this notification popped up I did say ‘I find it a little annoying that you stopped contacting me but are now liking pics on my profile. Please can stop interacting with me.’

Cue his response:

• I look like a ‘dyke’ (I have short hair which I love)

-according to him it ‘wouldn’t work anyway’ because I don’t want kids - quite rich from a man who couldn’t find the time to respond to a message due to ‘work’

He then told me to enjoy living the ‘crazy cat lady life’ (at some point I had told him that I live by myself) again, rich coming from someone who lives at his parents’ place!

He then took a swipe at my political leanings (left fwiw) obviously trying to squeeze whatever info there was on my page to find ammunition to hurt me.

I might have bitten back against my better judgement but this experience has left me totally gobsmacked and despairing about the world of OLD. I’m on a long weekend away and I’ll admit that it’s soured it a bit and I’m finding it hard to brush off.

It also falls hot on the heels of another guy asking me why I had stopped contacting him - yesterday as well! I was upfront and said he didn’t appear to be respecting my time (endless messages, no plans to meet) so I had decided to move on. To be fair he took it with grace but it was annoying that he was another one making another attempt to get my attention.

I honestly feel like I’m going about this all wrong and could use some perspective. Why is it that some people are so ghastly in the face of rejection? Am I meant to be sweet and compliant and just be glad they’ve popped up again? Because that really goes against my outlook!

Ignore em, block em.

That is all.

I think I’ve just reached levels of intolerance lately where I feel the need to call out disrespect instead of allowing it to wash over me.

That's fair enough but if you call someone out and don't block immediately, some will reply back to you and the exchanges can be unpleasant.

It’s not OLD as such, or at least not solely OLD; it’s people on the Internet. They behave that way on Twitter, FB, IG - anywhere where they’re anonymous enough to get away with being an idiot because they feel like it.

[quote Ywnaged]@GreyCarpet I think I’ve just reached levels of intolerance lately where I feel the need to call out disrespect instead of allowing it to wash over me.

Maybe I need to work out why I feel that way.

And yes. I couldn’t give a flying fuck if a misogynist likes me. I certainly don’t need that type of reassurance.[/quote]
I do think ignoring and living is a better response. This man is a loser and not worthy of your time.

@PeachesToday @KatherineJaneway valid points. Both taken

@Ywnaged

Not saying you were wrong for calling out, just that messaging and blocking or blocking straight up leaves for a more stress free life.

You need to not engage with people who are clearly losers. The message you sent isn’t going to change anyone’s behavior and most people aren’t going to respond nicely. That doesn’t mean it’s ok to be personally abusive but those people are out there. There are also lovely people out there but if these two experiences are enough to upset you this much OLD might not be for you.

If you lay into someone then there is this chance that they will make come backs. As others have said just ignore, block, delete. There's a load of bitter men ( and women) out there.

Don't give the weirdos any head space - block and forget.

To losers like this I used to respond calmly and extremely cogently, explaining in words of one syllable that they were sad, bitter losers (or whatever). Then I would wish them well, send the message then block and delete without waiting for their reply (or to see if they had received/read my message). I had to say my piece but denying them the natural justice of a right of reply felt good!