t’s long and I know the answer but I need to talk. I’m numb and I feel so sad and have no one to talk to so I’ll just start at the beginning.
I had my DD at 15, at 19 my Dsis killed herself, she was 22 and a few months later I met my now H. He wasn’t overly interested but i promised to never leave and here we are 22 years later and it’s been horrible all along really. I had to save face and pretend it wasn’t an awful relationship even though all my loved ones could see it . He’s an alcoholic, I’m probably codependent.
We’ve just come back from a week abroad and it was an absolute nightmare to tread on eggshells 24/7. I think it broke me.
His DD visited tonight and he was berating her. I pulled her aside and said it doesn’t have to be like this I’m thinking of leaving, we’d be ok and she went mad and said how dare I And he’s ended up going to stay with her for the night.
There’s loads more. My dog is very ill. I wish I could leave. The promise I made, the insinuation is that he’d kill himself and he probably would. I haven’t thought straight for ages.