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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Confused and heartbroken

4 replies

icecreamcart · 08/04/2022 08:15

I'm going through a difficult time at the moment and my parents offered to help. I wanted to rant and continued to vent and eventually just started crying and wanted to be left alone.

My dad started to tease me about the situation (as a joke - he said) and I started feeling really hurt and upset. I told him that I wasn't in the mood and that he should stop. He continued and I asked him again to stop. He continued and I snapped. I started screaming everything I'd been holding in about him.

He started saying I needed help and that I was ill in the head. All I wanted was to be left alone and for them to make me a cup of tea.

I'm a grown woman but this moment took me back to my childhood. He used to do this all the time when I was upset. I'm confused and upset.

OP posts:
Luna2 · 08/04/2022 10:32

How Old are you?

Xpologog · 08/04/2022 10:40

He didn’t like it when he heard what you thought of him.
His teasing, treating your stress as a joke is very passive aggressive —- my mother was an expert in this and it’s a horrible thing to experience.
Can you remove yourself from them for a while?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/04/2022 10:42

Perhaps some kind of counselling or therapy might help you to process this. Could you talk to your GP?

Ignore his comments about being 'ill in the head'. Yes, it's ignorant, but he is of a different generation. When I started having counselling two years ago, my Mum's contribution was that she found the term 'Mental health' ridiculous.

I ignored her, pointed out that I've always been there to help support her 'physical health' problems and carried on and it's really helped me. She has started to see things a bit more from my point of view but it can take a lot of work when you're struggling with things anyway.

Can you talk to friends in real life? There are also lots of counselling services available. Please talk to your GP or MIND and I really hope the best for you. x

Watchkeys · 08/04/2022 12:59

You'll have a much happier life if you stay away from anyone who doesn't respect your clearly stated boundaries.

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