My mum is 60 and works full time.
She lives a 3 hour drive away from me and my wider family. My grandfather's health is deteriorating and I have young children of my own and also work full time so can't do a lot to help him. Juggling my own household is hard enough with an unsupportive husband. My mum is at the verge of burn out as she has to keep travelling back to stay with him when he's unwell. Her husband is also in poor health so she cares for him too when she's at home.
When she visits, we don't get a lot of time with her when she's having to clean my grandfather's house, shop for him and care for him. Her brothers (my uncles) live close by but do nothing for him. It's all on my mum's shoulders. My grandfather refuses to move into a care facility because he feels close to my late grandmother there.
My mum's health is clearly suffering as a result of all this pressure. She loves her job, but is finding it difficult to juggle everything and is constantly exhausted. Her husband (although has poor health) relies on her too much and could definitely do much more to help her! I don't think she's particularly happy in her marriage to him but she seems reluctant to leave him.
I've asked her to consider moving back to our town, living with my grandfather for a short time until she's sorted her finances etc as she's torn between two places but she refuses to change her job and wants to stick it out until she retires, which means staying where she is.
She is however at the cusp of burnout and cried to me on the phone yesterday. When she does travel home to care for my grandfather when needed, she often tries to juggle working virtually at the same time to avoid taking any time off work. She can't continue like this.
What would you advise? I'm getting quite worried about her.