Vulture?

[Eatprayrun]

I joined a running club to try and make new friends. One of the women, Susie, was friendly and we’ve been out for coffee and drinks a few times. She seemed quite nice, although a bit lacking in social skills and a bit selfish.

Some of the women from the Club were organising a social event, and I asked Susie if she wanted to travel it to together. She said she hadn’t been invited. I checked with the event organiser and she said Susie wasn’t invited because she was a Vulture who had tried it on with a few of the women’s husbands including one man who’s wife was seriously ill and one who was having marriage difficulties.

Susie was upset to not have invited to the social event. Do I tell her why so she can defend herself, or she can find a group where she doesn’t have that reputation, or do I mind my own business?

The event was today and Susie turned up. Unfortunately she got really drunk and was very flirty with one of the husbands there, trying to grind against him while dancing. The husband looked mortified and moved away. The organiser asked me to take her home before she embarrassed herself further and she cried all the way to her house about the special close friendship she had with this man and how important she was to him. One of the other women from the Club called me this evening to check she’d got home OK, and to say that Susie had done exactly the same with a different man at a previous event

Personally I'd have been annoyed if I was asked to take her home. You're not her mother and she's not your responsibility. It was nice of you, but still...

Also,.does that prove the other women right?

She sounds like a total nightmare- I would be generally sympathetic and kind but not get too close

Omg, that's so cringe

I think she is probably just being friendly and they assume she is after other people´s husbands because she is separated. This happened to someone I know, little did they know she was already in a relationship and not interested, because she never spoke about her boyfriend. Years ago I had this cold attitude served to me from one woman who didn´t know I was in a relationship either. You must obviously be after her idiotic husband. Come on.

@MermaidEyes

Personally I'd have been annoyed if I was asked to take her home. You're not her mother and she's not your responsibility. It was nice of you, but still...

We live near to each other and often travel to club activities together, so I was the obvious person to ask. But I see what you mean.

@SVRT19674

I think she is probably just being friendly and they assume she is after other people´s husbands because she is separated. This happened to someone I know, little did they know she was already in a relationship and not interested, because she never spoke about her boyfriend. Years ago I had this cold attitude served to me from one woman who didn´t know I was in a relationship either. You must obviously be after her idiotic husband. Come on.

She has told me and others that she is single. She’s not separated.

@MermaidEyes

Also,.does that prove the other women right?

I can see why they would think she is trying it on with married men. She particularly tries to be friends with ones that have some difficulties in their lives like an ill wife. I thought it was because she was seeing it a chance to be supportive and to deepen a friendship, but I can see it from the women’s point of view that it can look like she is circling around a relationship problem like a vulture.

@SVRT19674

I think she is probably just being friendly and they assume she is after other people´s husbands because she is separated. This happened to someone I know, little did they know she was already in a relationship and not interested, because she never spoke about her boyfriend. Years ago I had this cold attitude served to me from one woman who didn´t know I was in a relationship either. You must obviously be after her idiotic husband. Come on.

I had a similar experience at a running club I was a member of years ago. Married, but my husband and I rarely wore our wedding rings. I did mention him eventually, just dropped into conversation where relevant, but was viewed with suspicion initially by one or two of the women (apparently one was in tears because I said 'hello' to her husband).

I'm quite reserved generally, so can't be accused of flirting, so found it strange. I hope that's a one off as I'd like to join a running club again, though I'm now separated!

Oldpony There are other single women at the club who aren’t viewed as predatory so I hope you would be OK if you join one.

Less of the 'old' 😅

I hope you're right OP. Running clubs are often cited, on Mumsnet, as places to meet men. If that's the general opinion then that might have something to do with it.

Susie might have thought so! Unless she was just being over friendly. Though the grinding against one of the men sounds cringe.

@andpony

Less of the 'old' 😅

I hope you're right OP. Running clubs are often cited, on Mumsnet, as places to meet men. If that's the general opinion then that might have something to do with it.

Susie might have thought so! Unless she was just being over friendly. Though the grinding against one of the men sounds cringe.

Sorry andpony!

I joined the club to make friends so I can see others would want to meet a partner. I’ve tried to see Susie’s over friendly behaviour at the party as a drunken mistake but it seems to be a bit of a pattern.

Unless Susie is a very close friend of yours (and she isn't, and you already find her a bit selfish), just wide avoid her. You joined the group to make friends, you are. It's not your job to defend and protect women who haven't managed the same like a mother hen. Now that you've seen why they feel the way they do about her, I'd cut them some slack (they're not single women hating insecure witches) and accept that people like Susie will need to learn social cues for the future. No one wants drama in their lives, and it seems like Susie could attract it. Life is too short to get involved in it!

Plead ignorance and stay right out of it.