To feel lonely in marriage

[Itstheprinciple123]

The background - been together 14 years and married 5. We have 1 child who’s just gone 2.

I feel so lonely since having our little boy. My husband is out every Thursday for darts, has a season ticket for the football, goes to any extra games there is and has had a few trips away with his dad or his friends - he’s currently on one now.

I try to out every month or 2 with the girls for tea or drinks. It’s difficult as there’s a few kids in the group so it’s hard for us to make plans.

I feel so fucking lonely. I don’t see my family as often due to moving house - speak with my mam daily. I don’t see friends often as many of the don’t have children so on weekends they would rather go to the pub/get drunk (totally understandable and I’m not having a go for that all at) rather do child friendly things. When we get a free night of our little stays at my mams we my husband and I don’t do anything different to every other night. I just feel alone and like I don’t mean much to him anymore. He rarely helps with washing, house works etc. I’m absolutely shattered, need a break and want to feel loved again.

Go to the pub with your friends and leave baby with your husband. Get your life back

How on earth did you fall into this pattern where you are the default parent?

You don’t mention having a job yourself. What was the situation behind your child was born?

I’m not surprised you feel lonely!

I work 4 days a week too 8:30 - 5 with half an hour commute

So when did you become so … (forgive me!) spineless regarding your domestic life? You were together for 9 years before you married, yes? Was your husband like this then? Did he change once you were married, or once you had a child? Because surely you didn’t deliberately marry a man who seems to regard you as a household implement?

I know not everyone has an active, sociable lifestyle - some people like being at home all the time - but clearly you feel stuck at home while The Man is out living his best life as he pleases. Not pulling his weight at home at all.

What do you intend to do to change things?

@needmorethanthis

Go to the pub with your friends and leave baby with your husband. Get your life back

Was coming to say this exact same thing. Go enjoy a night out kid free. I'm sure you will enjoy having that adult time and your kidwill be fine.

Why are you accepting him doing so little to contribute and why is it not possible for you to just up and leave of ab evening to go do things you enjoy . Just go see a movie or start a hobby if all your friends are too busy to meet

@Itstheprinciple123 just wanted you to know that you're not alone! I am in the same situation myself, except I'm a stay at home mum to two under 3s.

I Divorced my first husband for exactly this behaviour—

I went through his phone and the only message from her was for the 3 of us to enjoy our holiday

im obsessing over it. Every time I see him on his phone I feel sick which it shouldn’t be like that.

Me and this girl had messaged previouslly on Facebook … this is what they’ve been using to message, I wasn’t blocked when I first found out this time around as I was going to message her but I didn’t in the end. She then blocked me, I mentioned this to my Husband and now she’s unblocked me again. When suggests they are still speaking.

my head is fucked with it all - sorry for the bad language.

he had an envelope delivery which is said was a birthday gift for me well before my birthday. I hadn’t received anything that would fit into that size envelope on my birthday and I’ve sneakily looked for said envelope and it’s no where to be found. He may well have hidden it and forgotten but when if it was for her? I know it was a Keyring as I’ve since checked his emails. I don’t whether to mention the “forgotten birthday gift”. I’m so bloody confused

I feel awful as it may well all be completely innocent and they are just chatting as friends.

Of course their not just friends.