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Original poster

Getting back together after being with someone else?

18 replies

cozyupwithyou · 06/04/2022 22:58

My partner made me and the children leave the family home as he said he was very unhappy in the relationship.
I started seeing a friend, we had about to 15 dates, a few hotel stays, slept together about 5 times. I would say it was like a relationship and there was feelings developing.
Ex then wants to get back together and I guess I do want to give family life another go.
Is it impossible now I've been with someone else though? Ex doesn't know about it.

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 06/04/2022 23:21

He kicked out you and your kids rather than leave himself?

Why on earth are you considering getting back together with someone like that? That should be the issue, not whether you've seen someone else in the meantime.

It sounds like he and you both think that he gets to unilaterally decide if you get back together.

He doesn't. You're both adults. He isn't in charge.

ThistlesAndUnicorns · 07/04/2022 01:57

Your first sentence is the issue here.

Yes, you can get back with someone after being with another person but I'd be honest about what has happened.

However, what you've said in your first sentence makes me wonder why on earth you'd want to??

Moser85 · 07/04/2022 02:22

There was a thread on here the other day from a man in a very similar situation except that he knew she had started to see someone else!!!

If you went back are you planning on telling him?

KosherDill · 07/04/2022 02:32

@youvegottenminuteslynn

He kicked out you and your kids rather than leave himself?

Why on earth are you considering getting back together with someone like that? That should be the issue, not whether you've seen someone else in the meantime.

It sounds like he and you both think that he gets to unilaterally decide if you get back together.

He doesn't. You're both adults. He isn't in charge.

This.

Why the hell would you give a second chance to someone who kicked out your kids???

Ilady · 07/04/2022 03:18

He kicked you and your children out of the family home because he was unhappy in the relationship.
Why the hell would you gave him a second chance after he did this?

He can't just decide that he wants you back and expect this to happen.
Why does he want you back? Does his miss you their to do the wife work? I wonder has someone told him what he have would have to give you each week or month for the kids because of you splitting up?
Then he has to pay towards a house for you and the kids and pay for another place for himself.
What happens in 6 months time if he is still unhappy, will he expect you to pack up and find a house for 3 kids?
Your kids have already been through enough with him kicking you out of the family home and then dealing with dad is no longer around. Let him deal with the fallout he has caused.

EatTheToast · 07/04/2022 04:23

Yes I remember the reverse of this thread. No I wouldn't go back.

BlitzenThrough · 07/04/2022 04:44

I can't understand why you would. I'm not sure why you needed to jump straight into the next relationship either, I've never understood bed hopping especially when there are kids to think about in the whole scenario, but that's beside the point. HE kicked you out. Now HE wants to get back together and you're planning to just do it because he said so?
I don't think I would. If the other relationship is going well why walk away from it now to pacify the ex when he clicks his fingers??? You'd just hurt the rebound, confuse the kids and show your husband that he can pick and choose when he wants you back or not. Whole thing sounds a bit messy.

flyingdream · 07/04/2022 04:50

Does he have to know because you weren't together were you?

Also how do you know he hasn't been seeing someone else?

cookiemonster2468 · 07/04/2022 05:07

You say you want to go back for 'family life', but it sounds like he has already shown you that's something he can't give you.

People who are commited to 'family life' do not tell their partners and children leave a family home because they are unhappy in their relationship. That is incredibly selfish.

If he really cared about 'family life' then he would have been the one to leave for some space, and let you stay in the family home. He's shown that he prioritises himself over you and his children.

It's not impossible to make it work, but I would advise you think very carefully about what that relationship is and whether it/ he can ever really give you what you want, based on what he's shown you in the past.

He is unlikely to change and if he has kicked you all out before he has the potential to do it again.

So the question is what do you want, and is that enough for you?

litterbird · 07/04/2022 05:23

He will kick you out again, I would continue on this new path for now. Move on and dont look back.

Watchkeys · 07/04/2022 07:13

What you've done doesn't matter. He threw your children out of their own home. This isn't about whether he should take you back.

You are basically asking 'Should I put my kids at risk of being thrown out of their own home a second time?'

Why are you even considering living with someone who can do that to them?

SweetSakura · 07/04/2022 07:25

My partner made me and the children leave the family home

That's not the actions of a decent person

Original poster
cozyupwithyou · 07/04/2022 09:37

Thank you all Thanks

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 07/04/2022 12:12

To be honest I feel a bit sorry for the man you're currently dating. If it feels like a relationship then surely he'd be quite hurt to hear you're considering getting back with your ex. You haven't mentioned his feelings at all though.

Maybe you need to be single for a while.

AryaStarkWolf · 07/04/2022 12:17

Are the children his children??? if so wtaf?

Original poster
cozyupwithyou · 07/04/2022 15:43

Yeah they are both his children x

OP posts:
Richtea2 · 07/04/2022 19:15

@cozyupwithyou

My partner made me and the children leave the family home as he said he was very unhappy in the relationship. I started seeing a friend, we had about to 15 dates, a few hotel stays, slept together about 5 times. I would say it was like a relationship and there was feelings developing. Ex then wants to get back together and I guess I do want to give family life another go. Is it impossible now I've been with someone else though? Ex doesn't know about it.
I honestly think it's too late for him now. You seemed to have moved on. Typical of a man doing the unhappy and realising he let go a good thing and wanting that back. If you kind of developed feelings for this friend you answered your own question. You definitely moved on. He will have to accept it. His own fault.
AryaStarkWolf · 08/04/2022 11:17

@cozyupwithyou

Yeah they are both his children x
He kicked you and his own children out of the house?? And you're actually considering getting back with this guy?? Don't do it, set your standards a bit higher
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