Online dating, feeling so rubbish.

[Fridaynightlights9]

I know people will tell me I need to be more resilient and develop a thick skin but I'm honesty feeling really upset tonight.
Have been ghosted many times by different online dates. Finally matched with someone, we met up last week and it went really well. Both liked each other. Was supposed to go out on Saturday evening..
Last couple of days he's been a bit distant on the messaging. Didn't hear from him today so just dropped him a WhatsApp asking if he was OK..
He sends me a long message saying he's been thinking about things and he has had second thoughts about dating and he's got something else going on in his life that he needs to concentrate on.. He's sorry for messing me about, he thinks I'm beautiful and lovely but he's decided.. How do I stop myself feeling like crap. I know nothing is cemented until there's been a few dates and he's well within his rights to change his mind at any point..
I just feel so crap about it :(

The question is why does how you feel rest on what this complete stranger decides?

You need to get more input into how you feel, for yourself. Make your own self view, rather than having other people form your self view for you.

What do you do in your life to make you respect you?

Take a break from online dating. It doesn't seem to be doing you any good.

This was me in August. Separated from STBXH and decided to put myself out there again and had never done the online / app dating thing. Met a guy I clicked with early on, good date amd agreed to a 2nd and same as you, he became more distant before calling it off. I was devastated and thought I wasn't cut out for it! A couple months later, couple of other dates with other guys and countless dead end convos I met a great guy and have been seeing him ever since. Keep with it! There are a lot of idiots to sift through but there are some good'uns out there!

Sorry that you’re feeling low. OLD can be really shit, I was ghosted after seeing someone for 3 months and had numerous chats that never even got to a first meet. If you’re getting this upset after one date I agree with a previous poster, give it a break. At least this guy was upfront, although I know it doesn’t necessarily make you feel any better.

Sorry OP

Definitely take a break from online dating. Concentrate on loving yourself and doing things for you.

Block and delete his number. The more you sit and dwell on it, and thing “why?” The more shit you are going to feel.

I know it's hard but you really do have to become a bit more emotionally detached. My thoughts don't go beyond the date, my thought process is, if i have a nice time on the date then it's a positive experience, if they stop talking to me, it's fine, i have no expectations beyond that point. I will eventually find someone I mutually like and it will evolve naturally.

Sometimes I take a break, I've been single mostly 3 years and quite often just enjoy my freedom of not looking for months, probably slowed the process down but being in a healthy mindset is more important to your own well being.
You will find someone, keep positive.

Only online date if it's fun, take a break.

I agree I need to take a break from the apps. The last 3 guys I've spoken with have ghosted me.. I know I'm worth more. I just found this one hard as we met and it went well.

Many men on online dating websites are already married or in a relationship, or have constructed a fictional life.
Hence, they disappear when the female gets interested.

I don't think it's that. I think it's because I'm a single parent and can't do things spontaneously. He mentioned it's been a week since we met and it's lost momentum. I don't have the luxury of spontaneity.
That's something I cannot and will not change for anyone.

Oh I've been there and it's so disappointing. I had to write out a long list of the things that I already didn't like about the guy to remind myself he was no great loss.

I did end up meeting someone lovely on the app eventually but it's just sheer luck and I know it's hard to keep going. There's nothing wrong with deciding to abandon online dating.

It's ok to feel upset abt this - you were looking forward to a date with someone you liked and he's let u down - completely understandable. PP that say u should be emotionally detached from the process or and love yourself more, exemplifies the problem with online dating - nobody gives a s**t about anyone else on there !

I think that's what it was. It's been absolute years since I've been on a proper date. I got a new dress and was looking forward to looking beautiful and even got childcare organised. It just feels deflating.

This is the reality of OLD sadly. Don’t get so invested. Take a break when needed. It’s tough, I know. Keep going though

I've blocked him now. No point keeping his number. I don't keep anyone in my life that doesn't add any value.

Been there and it feels horrible but there are genuine men out there who want a relationship. I came off the free ones and paid (an investment!) for a higher end site and met dp after a few months. Together 2.5 years now.

I realised that I wasn't really interested in dating, I wanted a relationship so changed my profile, yes less men would be interested but it meant that those who were knew I wasn't into one night stands - dp was exactly the same.

I tried match.com and paid, and there was literally nobody that even came close. My heart just sinks when I'm swiping on the free ones and nobody attracts me..
I think I just need to have a break as I've had 3 bad experiences now.