Getting away from an abusive controlling partner/husband is exhausting and traumatic and you will have to do most of the work

[barbedwired]

I'm not even married, don't have children with him, just own a house.

He's a nightmare. I just want him gone from my life. I've got him out the house but negotiating the sale of that is becoming impossible. Potentially I'll have to force a sale. I am determined but it's hard work that I have to do.

Please share your success in getting away. I imagine it's a good feeling when you never have to see or hear from him again.

Hi,
I didn't want to read and run but I'm just about to drag my kids to the park some fresh air so have copied and pasted my story from another thread. I know you don't have kids with your ex but just wanted to say there is light at the end of the tunnel OP

This makes me so sad. This was my life until 5 years ago. Word for word. I decided that being alone was far better than being lonely in an emotionally abusive marriage and my children deserved better. Since then, we've moved. Had to cut finances but the 3 of us have never been happier. No treading on eggshells wondering what mood Dad will be in. No gaslighting or stonewalling. He could ignore me and punish me for days and go about his business talking to the children as if nothing was happening. Crazy making behaviour. I left. The best decision I ever made. Liberated and free doesn't come close to how I feel. I'm now with the
most lovely man who makes me feel valued every single day. He left a very similar situation. The 3 years I was alone at times could have felt lonely and I missed my children when they went to their Dad's but I filled my time and reached out to friends who only wanted to support me. I'd hidden so much from them out of shame and embarrassment. Please don't waste any more of your precious time or your children's childhood. Show them what healthy boundaries look like. I couldn't live with myself if my children thought an abusive relationship was normal and strive every day to show them what they deserve for themselves. You can do this. Start by telling one friend x

As I got into bed tonight I thought this is one day closer to my goal to be absolutely free of ever having to deal with him again.

It's less exhausting and traumatic, and it takes less time, than staying with an abusive partner.

It's very hard work, but keep your eyes on the prize. This is a finite process. Every step you take is one step less you still have to do.

Yes. It is. I feel your pain. Find good mediators /lawyers who see him for what he is and are prepared to be robust with him and teach you to be robust with him.

And get counselling if you can. I had a psychologist through out the process and she helped me find the path through and it has helped me in every area of my life since.