I’m feeling confused about my husband at the moment and thought I’d ask what people thought. A few years ago after we’d been together years, he gradually became emotionally abusive. It took me a couple of years to realise as it crept up slowly. I rang Women’s Aid as it really confused me and they explained it was emotional abuse and it sounded like he may have narcissistic traits.
Predictably it started after we got married and bought a house and got worse when our first child arrived.
It’s been hard to deal with over the last couple of years with the lockdowns and him working from home all the time but I managed to cope with it. What’s odd is that a few months ago he suddenly went back to how he was when we first met and has sustained this for several months. I’m suspicious as to why, he has everything he wants, travels with his job and socialises as he wants but this has always been the case.
Up to now he hasn’t bothered getting very involved with our kids, I’ve done everything and he would spend most of his weekends asleep. Now he is getting up and joining in, which I find odd. Do you think people like this are capable of just completely changing themselves or should I be suspicious. I also just realised that if he can just change like this, the times he has been nasty to me must have been deliberate if he can hide it for several years and then reveal it, then change back.
I’m not able to articulate this in real life so appreciate any ideas.