Ive ran away to a hotel from them all. Now what?

[Mamabananananana]

DH and i have been arguing constantly - he can never see past himself, and is often horrible to be around. A lot of issues that he doesn't address

This week , I really wanted to leave him finally.

I started to look at homes to buy or rent in my home town where siblings and DM live: with the thought that they could support me if i left.

So i packed suitcases and travelled to DMs with my DC to get some peace/help/sympathy
We dont always get on, but i was desperate to get away.

Id been there 4 hours ( 2 of which DC and i were asleep) and chaos ensued, much shouting ,screaming ( not from me) before i repacked and ran away again

Now im in a cheap hotel in my curreny home town, having travelled all the way back with my small DC as i cant bear to return to DH and feel unwelcome at DMs.

So what now?

Ring the local councils housing line. Explain the situation and see what they say. There are too many unknowns for me to have an idea what they will say but if it's abuse or your name isn't on the tenancy/mortgage they will be able to help quickly. Refuge isn't your only option if its abuse.

[quote GoldenGorilla]@knittingaddict - my takeaway from your post was that you’re picking apart whether or not the OP’s family behaved badly, which really isn’t the issue here.

She feels unsupported. She wants to leave her marriage. She is sitting upset in a hotel room wondering what to do next.

So your post just wasn’t very helpful.

Maybe focus on thinking about what the OP could do next?[/quote]
As a smoker and one who used to smoke in the house back in the day I would definitely have gone to the back door regardless of circumstances, even 15 years ago when it was more acceptable. I may have rolled my eyes but I would have done it. Nowadays I am loathe to even walk past a child in the street with a cigarette. The government did an excellent job of stigmatising smoking and making smokers hyper aware of it at all times (which is a good thing).

Although you are right and it really isn't the point I do want to point out that OP isn't being unreasonable anyway.

Ring your mum and apologise.
Sounds like it all got of on the wrong foot .
Ask her can you come and stay .
I think putting up with someone smoking ,is a small price to pay to be able to leave your dh.
Pick your battles and all that ..

@BOOTS52 thanks for your concern
I just went home. Didnt know what else to do...
DH isnt bad enough to be bothering womans charities
Thought the baby was best at home until i dicide whst to do next ...

Thanks for the update and hope you are ok. Hope you have someone to talk to as just talking things out or posting on here can help so much. Look after yourself xx

Wow OP I am so sorry to hear how you were treated. I know that all consuming trapped feeling, nowhere and no one to turn to. Family should be there when you really need them. It was a reasonable request r.e the smoking. Just take a breath, take stock and decide what to do without needing to rely on your mum next time. Good luck OP