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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How can I get over someone when they're everywhere?

44 replies

CaraElle · 05/04/2022 20:47

I had a really intense relationship with a famous actor. I broke it off because it just got too much and I wasn't in a good headspace.

Every time I turn on the TV he's there. He's all over the social media/ interviews/ radio etc.

Has anyone been in this situation before? I just can't get him out of my mind and it's driving me crazy!

OP posts:

NoNamesInMyMouth · 05/04/2022 21:48

Is it Chris rock?

anotherronnee · 05/04/2022 22:08

Hi OP, I’ve been in a mild version of your situation with a musician well known in his field and in the city where we lived. It was hard, it was weird and we were together for ages. But time, as others have said, heals it.
I always used to think of Radio One’s Greg James as he used to date Ellie Goulding, and would have to introduce her songs 😬
At the end of the day you’re in a weird situation not many have been in but you did the right thing if it wasn’t the right relationship, and it’ll get better. Keep yourself busy; I used to have a diary for the sole purpose of doing one thing each day to try and feel a little better - a walk somewhere new, seeing a friend etc. and as time went on I’d have a wry smile to myself when he popped up on the radio, online, in conversation etc. i promise you’ll get to that stage one day

ragged · 05/04/2022 22:15

I dunno who some of these ppl (supposed Slebs) are (!)

friend put a restraining order on her ex, so basically they can't have any contact. He was violent. His stuff is gone from her house. He has stopped all social media & changed his job & his family ghosted friend, so she can't even spy on what he's up to. Because of course, she still pines for him. constantly. She admits this is completely insane.

PandoraP · 05/04/2022 22:15

Putin

Lollypop701 · 05/04/2022 22:22

Probably bojo tbh… not envy

Belkell · 05/04/2022 22:24

Not putin, he’s not an actor surely it’s Zelenskyy

MumUndone · 05/04/2022 22:29

@ToothGrinder

That boy's not been the same since he lost Wellard.

Summerfun54321 · 05/04/2022 22:42

@ToothGrinder

That boy's not been the same since he lost Wellard.

🤣

noblegreenk · 05/04/2022 22:55

All you can do is give it time. I was in a similar situation - relationship with someone famous for 5 years. Mutual decision to part ways due to incompatible life goals, but it was very difficult as we still loved each other. I avoided tv, radio, social media and newspapers for about a year after the split. Instead I threw myself into socialising and made a new group of friends who didn't know about my ex. It was nice to be around people who didn't see me as "famous man's girlfriend". When I was alone I read loads of books and went for long walks listening to audio books. It gradually got better and I started to reintegrate media into my life. It's been 17 years and now and when i see or read something about him it doesn't bother me one bit. Just adapt for the time being and things will get easier for you.

ButtonBound · 05/04/2022 23:13

@Belkell

Not putin, he’s not an actor surely it’s Zelenskyy

No, Zelenskyy is mine!!

HellonHeels · 05/04/2022 23:36

Apologies OP for my stupid comment earlier.

You've done the right thing and what's more, you had the sense to realise it wasn't right for you and the absolute courage to finish it. That strength of character will see you through.

Original poster

CaraElle · 06/04/2022 07:24

Thank you!

OP posts:

bjjgirl · 06/04/2022 07:28

Start a new hobby - honestly Brazilian juijitsu will consume you and widen your social circle, you then will not have time to watch tv and put your energy into something else

As will CrossFit, horse riding etc etc

LittleWhingingWoman · 06/04/2022 09:49

I have a semi famous ex who was in a boy band in the 90's. (No not that boy band!)
Anyway he was a twenty timing twat obviously. We had been at Uni together before he got big. At one point he was everywhere, his gorgeous face plastered on posters etc.
luckily I wasn't into the music or boy bands - so I didn't have to buy into it if that makes sense. Not buying into their aspect of fame really helps. It's just marketing. So he's still just a twatty bloke and the fame aspect is artificial. It could be anyone. Just see it all as an advert using his face. You will get over him. Just use some humour and abstain from social media, the kind of tv he is on etc.

Also...
Philip Schofield isn't work crying over. Honestly. It's definitely him and not you

ValerieCupcake · 06/04/2022 09:51

@LittleWhingingWoman

I have a semi famous ex who was in a boy band in the 90's. (No not that boy band!) Anyway he was a twenty timing twat obviously. We had been at Uni together before he got big. At one point he was everywhere, his gorgeous face plastered on posters etc. luckily I wasn't into the music or boy bands - so I didn't have to buy into it if that makes sense. Not buying into their aspect of fame really helps. It's just marketing. So he's still just a twatty bloke and the fame aspect is artificial. It could be anyone. Just see it all as an advert using his face. You will get over him. Just use some humour and abstain from social media, the kind of tv he is on etc.

Also...
Philip Schofield isn't work crying over. Honestly. It's definitely him and not you

I only see my then-famous ex on telly on reruns of old TOTP and NOW! channels. It makes me laugh. I hated his music too.

LittleWhingingWoman · 06/04/2022 09:54

In fact, tell yourself he IS Phillip Schofield every time you see him.

Also - is it him you miss or are there any aspects of his fame you miss? Be honest here.

I think for me it was less his fame that I cared about, it was more seeing him with models after that bothered me. Also his band got to support one of my actual favourite bands so that made me feel a bit sore. But the main pain was that I was in love with him before the fame, and when we were both just students messing about and hanging out watching films together.

Twenty years later he got in touch saying he loved me still.
I'm happily in love with someone else. You will get over him. I promise.

something2say · 06/04/2022 11:09

I too have a famous ex. They are touring this year. But I know the ins and outs of the band and the facade is just a facade.

You'll be fine x

MarryMeTomHardy · 06/04/2022 12:13

@WoodyBrambles

Is it Dean Gaffney? He keeps ‘liking’ me on various dating apps 😂

He popped up on the south coast on Bumble too

Original poster

CaraElle · 06/04/2022 16:41

Thanks everyone, you have made me feel a lot better. Even the guesses as to who it is. 😂

It was nothing to do with the "fame" - we didn't really talk about that. He did tell me he loved me and I didn't really feel the same. We did have a connection though, but he was just too intense.

OP posts:

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