Is my marriage really over?

[hannah78990]

Me (26F) and my partner (25M) have been together for 8 years whilst having our home renovated I suggested for him to stay at his parents house whilst the work was being done and I did the same. Nothing went wrong in those 2 weeks and I had even stayed the night with him a couple nights toward the end of the second week. but the day we were supposed to move back in he said he's not moving back in and wants a divorce. I was completely shocked and asked if he had cheated. He said he had made out with someone else and feels differently about me now. He's also said he wants complete freedom and to be single. I should add we do not have kids but we made plans to start IVF. And he now doesnt want kids. He has said he doesnt want to work on our relationship and just wants it to be over. I'm obviously devastated and don't understand how you go from married to divorced in the space of 2 days. I asked if we could spend 2 weeks away with no contact and then try a week together and see how things go. He said he would only do this for my closure but will not change his mind. I'm so confused, angry and hurt. I should add that no he doesnt have someone else the girl he kissed was random and the ivf was for his genetic reason.

Men seem to have an ‘on-off’. This happened to me, recently a good friend and now another good friend.

I am so sorry this has happened. The other woman was almost certainly not random. He has been having an affair.

Look after yourself, make sure you tell people and get support in real life xx

What a shock! I wouldn't be convinced that this was a one-off with a random though. Maybe the house move, renovations, IVF was all too much for him but that's no excuse. He seems very sure that it's the end though so not sure what you can do. Even if he came to his senses, would you want him back?

I'm sorry this is happening OP.

It maybe sudden for you but he has probably been sneakily detaching himself from the marriage for some time.

He said he had made out with someone else and feels differently about me now.

^ this is a crock and straight out of the 'cheaters handbook' he's been likely cheating for some time IMO.

Hard as it sounds you need to let him go.

You shouldn't want him back after that. You are very young, it's a blessing in disguise it's happened now and not after kids, he's a cheater. In future you probably won't have to put yourself through IVF.

You shouldn't want him back after that. You are very young, it's a blessing in disguise it's happened now and not after kids, he's a cheater. In future you probably won't have to put yourself through IVF.

^This. Really poor behaviour on his part OP. You deserve better