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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's wrong with me?

2 replies

LemonPieKitty · 04/04/2022 16:03

I basically have no friends. I did have but over the years school friends have drifted and other acquaintances came and went.
I still see my best friend and we message one another most days, we share private intimate stuff with one another but even our face to face get togethers seem to be becoming fewer and further between. I do feel like she genuinely cares about me but she sees her other friends a lot more than me.
That's it. I have other "friends" who would probably help me out in an emergency but they make no effort to maintain the friendship or see me. Any catching up with them is instigated by me, seems well received, we catch up, laugh etc then I hear nothing from them again. I've racked my brains to try and figure out what's wrong with me....make sure I listen during conversations, don't just talk about myself, ask questions to show I'm interested. People always seem to say I'm nice and funny, but no one can actually be bothered with me. I get left out of things. Prople splinter off and create new groups minus me.
I had a boyfriend in the past who split up with me because it wasn't worth the effort to drive to mine, he lived 30 mins down the motorway. It just seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.
Now my family have began to do it to me. Unless I make arrangements and go to them I don't see them.
I've got a young family and a baby born at the latter part of last year that they've barely seen. Last time they saw him was the beginning of Feb because I haven't made any plans. They've always been the kind of people to turn up unannounced so it's not that I'd have a problem with them coming over or meeting them somewhere, it's just stopped. No one seems to want to bother with me.
My partner seems to think it's some kind of joke/reassures me that he loves me, which I know he does, but I'm lonely. I've gone from having a really good social life to nothing and I don't know what I've done wrong.

I'm paranoid I smell or have bad breath or that I'm mind numbingly boring. My boyfriend says non of the above is true so I'm just not sure what to think. Its really effected my confidence and I feel like there must be something wrong with me.

OP posts:
ThistlesAndUnicorns · 04/04/2022 16:35

If you have a young family with a new baby and a partner people might just assume you're busy or tired a lot of the time?

I speak to friends over text often but rarely face to face, I just assume we are all busy in our own ways.

From what you've said you have family/friends who care about you and speak about you positively so there's nothing 'wrong' with you.

I always found I spent more time with others who had children similar ages to mine. Do you go to any baby/toddler groups?

Sally2791 · 04/04/2022 16:39

I second the baby/ toddler groups, you are probably going to find like minded people there. If you have time, find some activity groups. It’s a bit like looking for a partner, it gets more difficult as you get older, but just keep putting yourself out there.

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