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Original poster

Just when I think DH is getting the message...

21 replies

19Bears · 04/04/2022 11:00

...he's gone and booked a Haven caravan holiday. In bloody November, I might add. Not only has he not thought about DS14 being in Year 10 then and having to miss school, and neither of the kids being keen on the idea anyway, he's just gone ahead and booked it without asking me what i think. He did send DS10 upstairs to me with his phone to show me what he was looking at, and I didn't really make any comment, so he's obviously taken it upon himself to book it anyway.
Just when I thought he was getting the message that our marriage is pointless and really should be over, having told him how I feel more than two years ago. We barely speak, he does his own thing, I do everything with the kids. And he think this is normal? That a few days away will fix it? This is my time to tell him isn't it. I feel sick Sad

OP posts:
Unanananana · 04/04/2022 11:06

He'll enjoy his nice cold 'holiday' alone then won't he? Not a fucking chance I would be taking the kids out of school and wasting precious AL on that.

Why are you dragging it out? Sounds like its dead in the water. Your life would be easier as a single parent by the sounds of it.

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 04/04/2022 11:09

Nowt stopping him going.

Holiday at home for you op!!

DebtheSander · 04/04/2022 11:12

I think this gives you a perfect opportunity. Tell him that you won’t be going on this holiday because by November, you will be living in separate homes. That may sound harsh but I suspect that you will need to be very clear with him that the marriage is over.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/04/2022 11:15

If your marriage is over, its over and indeed tell him that by November you will be living in separate homes.

Do not remain in this marriage further for the supposed sake of the children here; they won't say "thanks mum" to you for doing that to them.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/04/2022 11:17

C'mon 19Bears you can do this. I still do not think you are a lot cause here:).

You have a choice here re this man, your children do not.

Ghostsofhumor · 04/04/2022 11:19

It's clear from your posting history that you've despised this man for years.
Why are you still there?

Ultimately a conversation two years ago, then two years of staying is unlikely to be completely clear that you wouldn't go on holiday together

marjayy · 04/04/2022 11:19

I really don't think a 14 and 10yo are going to enjoy an English holiday camp. Especially in winter.

JohannSebastianBach · 04/04/2022 11:22

Well you were wrong, he obviously doesn't get it.

Original poster
19Bears · 04/04/2022 11:22

Deep breath. I know you'll have my back @AttilaTheMeerkat Flowers

OP posts:
Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 04/04/2022 11:24

Is he either deaf or a bit thick, OP?

Maybe sending him the divorce papers might concentrate his attention ? Hmm

Original poster
19Bears · 04/04/2022 11:28

I've been building myself up for the divorce papers scenario @Thesefeetaremadeforwalking, and the new law which has been delayed and delayed is here on Wednesday. I'm f*ing terrified Sad

OP posts:
Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 04/04/2022 11:31

@19Bears

No need to be terrified - just do it, you'll be fine. x

AttilaTheMeerkat · 04/04/2022 11:39

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Original poster
19Bears · 04/04/2022 12:52

Thank you all. I'm driving myself round the bend with all of this x

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 04/04/2022 14:20

Just when I thought he was getting the message that our marriage is pointless and really should be over, having told him how I feel more than two years ago. We barely speak, he does his own thing, I do everything with the kids.

As gently as I can... please, please stop putting your children through the damage of living with parents who have such a dysfunctional dynamic.

They'll think it's normal / all they can expect and the longer you stay the more likely it is they'll replicate this relationship as adults.

It's especially damaging that the kids are seen as your responsibility by default as it plays into outdated and unfair stereotypes about what is 'women's work' rather than encouraging them to see men and women as equal.

DrBrennerFan · 04/04/2022 14:23

Caravan holiday in November 😮😮😮😮god N0 chance freezing cold dark nights miserable weather, you’ll be gone by then anyway. Good luck.

CheshireChat · 04/04/2022 15:41

Forget about the fact that it's November etc. The issue is him.

Imagine your dream holiday, add your husband and... I bet it's no longer that appealing (I've seen your other threads and posts).

Good luck escaping him!

2DogsOnMySofa · 04/04/2022 15:46

Well he'll have a lovely time on his solo holiday

Just do it op. What's the worst that will happen? You don't get to go in a static caravan in November

OrlandointheWilderness · 04/04/2022 16:25

Sounds like there is a backstory here

Original poster
19Bears · 04/04/2022 16:28

Yeah @CheshireChat it's not the fact that he's chosen November. It's much bigger than that. But it is a demonstration of how his brain works. Or doesn't.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 04/04/2022 16:31

Just tell him none of you are going. Remind him the marriage is over and you will no longer go on ‘family’ holidays with him.

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