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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I’m wondering what’s the point?

14 replies

needmorethanthis · 03/04/2022 20:58

Does anyone else wonder what is the point of being married if your husband doesn’t actually want to spend any time with you? This is the situation I’m in. He’s got no interest in spending time with me. If I ask he will but he wants to get away and back to his computer games as soon as he can. It makes me feel like crap. Is anyone else in this situation. What does it say if your partner of many years never seeks you out or tries to arrange things to do together?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/04/2022 21:06
Thanks

How very lonely.

Over a typical week what things do you do together?

DenholmElliot · 03/04/2022 21:09

This was the problem I had with my now ex husband. I actually felt like he didn't even like me very much, never mind love me.

I put up with it for about 10 years longer than I should have.

Shoxfordian · 03/04/2022 21:09

It sounds like you shouldn’t be with him anymore

user1480097724 · 03/04/2022 21:17

I've had this fir several years. He now wants to divorce me, saying (amongst other criticisms) that we have nothing in common. I've always just sat quietly reading while he gamed. I thought it made him happy.

user1480097724 · 03/04/2022 21:17

*for

Squeezyhug · 03/04/2022 21:23

No point in that at all.

I had that with my exH and it was very lonely.

Totally different with new partner.

Don’t waste time with him. Sounds like you’re not compatible. You can be so much happier.
Better on your own than with the wrong person.

Original poster
needmorethanthis · 03/04/2022 21:29

I’ve always fit in and facilitated him. I’m wondering if the reason we’ve stayed married so long is because I’ve always run around making do rather than setting my needs out and demanding someone who makes me happy. I want someone to keep me company at weekends!

OP posts:
Bjarnum · 03/04/2022 22:14

My friend was in the exact same situation. She finally gave up and left him and is now happily married to someone who pays her attention

Zerrin13 · 03/04/2022 22:15

Have you spoken to him about how dissatisfied you are?

Original poster
needmorethanthis · 04/04/2022 03:47

I can’t talk to him because he dismisses my feelings and then ignores me for days afterwards

OP posts:
Sunny770 · 04/04/2022 05:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sunny770 · 04/04/2022 05:14

Sorry didn’t mean to add this here. Can’t seem to delete it Blush

Monty27 · 04/04/2022 05:18

Sounds like you've married the wrong guy OP

RandomMess · 04/04/2022 07:32

Well he's abusive isn't he? Ignoring you as well as dismissing your feelings.

End the marriage Thanks

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