I need to end it with someone I really love..

[notsureanymore99]

I can't bring myself to end it, as I know it will hurt me terribly. I'll need to take time off work, I will be a mess. I haven't been this heartbroken in years and years and years. Not sure why I am posting. For support? Any tips?

Why do you feel that you need to end it?

Ok what are the positive reasons for ending it? What aren’t you getting that gives you a want to end it?

Sounds like you have your reasons and will mostly need to remember and lean on these when you're feeling the pain. Time is the only healer and I so wish that wasn't the case. It may be a question of just putting the time in and caring for yourself

For many reasons. I don't think it's going anywhere. I really wanted it to, and still do, but I don't think he is committed - or is going to take too long. I will miss him so much. And I am absolutely dreading being single and dating again. I've done it for most of my life and I find it horrific. At my age, it isn't easy anymore, and I want a family.

Set things up to make your post-him life amazing. Join a group of something you are interested in. Draw up a playlist to play when you; want to cry, and one when you want to be upbeat.

You do need to cry but you need to be able to pick yourself up afterwards.

Draw up a list of shows and movies you can watch to make yourself feel positive and stop yourself descending into the abyss.

Draw up a daily schedule that you should try to keep to, such as

go for a walk
have a bath/shower
put on playlist
watch episode of show
tidy something/clean something etc.

Also, write yourself letters for when you're feeling hopeless, depressed etc. to read to bring you out of those states.

And once you've put this all in place then you can do the dumping.

@notsureanymore99

For many reasons. I don't think it's going anywhere. I really wanted it to, and still do, but I don't think he is committed - or is going to take too long. I will miss him so much. And I am absolutely dreading being single and dating again. I've done it for most of my life and I find it horrific. At my age, it isn't easy anymore, and I want a family.

You do know that you are enough. You can have a family on your own.

Have you talked to him calmly about How you feel?

omg wow atriciamcneal thank you! these are amazing tips!

IAMGE Yes I have spoken to him. He's not sure, he's not ready etc etc. I don't have time to waste anymore sadly.

What age are you and how long have you been together?

I'm sorry you are feeling so down

excelledyourself old enough! late 30s/early 40s...

The advice I always give people in your situation (because it worked for me) is to remember that sometimes you love someone but they are not good/healthy for you.

The love was real but it was not good for you and loving and taking care of yourself should be your number one priority. Try to remember this when it feels hard.

All the best OP

I too went through something similar. What worked for me;

Acceptance of my needs & wants - were they being met etc
Authenticity with myself and him
Learning to let go (damn hard) instead of holding onto something that was meeting his needs yet not mine.
Allowing myself to 'cry it out'
Went on holiday instantly ....change of scenery
Self care; Invested in myself and learned to love myself
Understanding we can meet the right person at he wrong time and the wrong person anytime.
Poetry, music, films all helped
Walking in nature
Knowing I will always love him as we can fall in love with many for varying reasons.....more fish in the sea!
Go on a few dates just to distract