Hi everyone,
Not really sure if this is the proper place for this but I feel I just need to write things down. please be warned this post refers to gambling so please don't read if this is something you struggle with as I'd hate to ruin anyone's recovery!
My partner has been struggling for a while now with a very painful back injury, it really got him down 2 years ago and he was major depressed. He started gambling after being clean for 4 years, and tried to hide it. He left his job for an easier one which helped his back and we managed to get him back on the road to recovery.
But it seems that since leaving his previous job it's where all the issues have started.
I don't remember the last time he did a full weeks work, always an excuse (his back, his depression, he is worried about me and my hernia - I was pregnant at the time too) but honestly they are literally excuses. At the end of the day, he is becoming lazy.
We had our baby in Jan, 4 weeks early, and while I was in hospital awaiting her arrival he was at home taking out loans and gambling again 😠I didn't even know he'd started again. His back has improved a lot since he left his previous job, he's been more active at home but seems to have lost interest in everything that doesn't involve playing with his son or sitting on his laptop playing games.
He says not enjoying his job makes him depressed and want to gamble but won't find himself something else.
We have literally no money now. He's spent all the savings, he's spent the kids money, he spends most of his wage but doesn't ever tell me his actual wage, I only get the figure of what it was after he's gambled as if that's all he's earned.
Its now put me in a position where I'm so sick of being without money, without being able to buy food or things for the kids what I'm considering ending my maternity leave after just 9 weeks to go back to work.
I don't want to, but I have two children I need to provide for.
Its just getting me so down. I've tried so hard to help him with the gambling and depression but some days it seems that he likes to be able to play the victim. Does that sound harsh? Am I being too over the top with this? I literally just want to cry all the time. Just looking to let off some steam and maybe find others to talk to so it's not so lonely here.