Should I tell his girlfriend?

[Notaderrysgirl]

Bit of a backstory so as not to drip feed - I broke up with my ex 5 years ago, not married, no children, clean break and since then he has a girlfriend of 2 years and I have a boyfriend of 3 years, I have very much moved on.

I went out with friends to celebrate my birthday, nothing fancy just went to a local bar. My ex and his girlfriend were there as we have a lot of mutual friends and his girlfriend is one of the loveliest people you will ever meet. Anyway while we were all having a drink and enjoying ourselves I nipped to the loo by myself, my ex followed me and cornered me saying he wanted to talk - he told me he still has a special place in his heart for me and that he still loves me and tried to hug me, I pushed him away and said you need to stop, your girlfriend is in there and it’s been 5 years, ship has well and truly sailed. I have zero feelings towards him. His reply was that he just wanted me to know. Outside of seeing him with mutual friends we do not talk at all. My boyfriend wasn’t there that night as he was away with work and I have told him about this encounter and he thought it was really out of order, and I agree.

When I returned to the bar my ex and his girlfriend left right after.

Now if I was in his girlfriends shoes I would want to know what he said. I’d want to know. I told my best friend and she said that he’s never really gotten over me and talks about me a lot if they are out and I’m not there. I had a feeling that, that was the case as he always makes a beeline for me when he sees me out and insists on a hug and whatever I post on Facebook he’s the first one to like and comment.

I do feel awful for his girlfriend as she doesn’t deserve that and I feel like I should tell her as like I say I would want to know if my boyfriend did the same. It just doesn’t sit right with me that he said he still loves me and that his girlfriend is oblivious to it. On the other hand I don’t want to look like a demented ex girlfriend either.

It is especially difficult as the majority of our friends are mutual and I can’t just not go out in order to avoid him.

Should I tell her or am I best to leave it?

I would leave it, I'm sure it's likely she has an inkling anyway, liking your posts, coming over to speak to you etc.
if she's not feeling loved enough by him then she needs to decide for herself what to do.
Like you say, you'll be be made out to be the crazy ex.

No you shoulcn't tell her. That would be quite mean. A lot of folk still have strong feelings for an ex. It isn't that unusual.

Keep well out of it. We can’t help our feelings. It’s shit on her that he’d prefer to be with you, but you are not an option for him, it’s not like he’s cheating on her or anything. He’s said what he needed to say and you turned him down, there’s no need to cause any aggro and drama over it.

Leave it and remove him from your social media.

I would stay out of it. If he's really that preoccupied with you then she is probably aware to some extent but has decided it's live-withable. You've knocked him back. Nothing's going to happen between you. I'd leave it and them get on with things.