Should I give up?

[Sparkler99]

I have a friend who I’ve know for 13 years. We were very close. She moved away a few years ago and now we only see each other a few times a year - always get on great. However she rarely initiates contact, has let me down at the last minute and shows no concern over a few recent problems I’ having. I’m wondering whether I should just give up trying to keep in touch though I would be sad to lose her as a friend.

It's horrible when that happens, but, yes, I'd take a step back.

In her defence, I do think it's quite common when people don't live nearby anymore, to be less involved and sometimes less close. I'm sure it isn't personal, but I'm sure it's very hurtful. I wouldn't cut her out, but I wouldn't rely on her either

What happens on regular basis? Do you text or chat?

@Fere I text and she sometimes replies. Rarely chat unfortunately.

@GuyDiamond thanks. Yes, it is hurtful especially as when she was having problems I always replied to texts asap and offered to call.

It depends on why she's doing this, perhaps.
I was the one who did exactly the same things that your friend is doing.
I was very depressed; would never conact first, but agree to plans (and truly look forward to them) but by the time came around, I was still unable to bring myself to do anything.
Often I didn't answer emails, I really wanted to, but just couldn't; I wanted to wait until I felt better, or had more energy to write a good, lengthy reply. Then as more time passed, I felt even worse about it.
Eventually I was honest about my situation, though.

But if she's fine, and is out and about, then, that's not very nice of her to treat you that way.

I hope you'll be able to save the friendship.

@NigellaLawdaughter thanks. From what I know she’s going about her life as normal, though it can be hard to tell. I’ll leave the ball in her court now and see what happens…

My view is she isn’t much of a friend if she spends most of the time ghosting. Leave it to her to initiate and if she doesn’t you will know for sure that she doesn’t value your friendship

@SunflowerTed thank you. Yes, you’re definitely right - effectively she does ghost me. I’m definitely leaving it now and see what happens… Very sad though.