Date talking about ex

[Newpjamas]

Is this a red flag 🚩
If so why

In what sense? At length or just a precis of their last relationship/ mention in passing something relevant to the conversation?

A lot
I know where she works, about the guy shes dating, where she lives, full name,

Run. Also avoid giving him any personal information he could pass on to the next random internet date!

At length not a red flag as such, just inappropriate. I mean, I wouldn't think to do similar about my own ex.

If bad-mouthing the ex, that can be seen as a red flag.

I think a bit is OK. Like why the relationship ended or something along those lines as sometimes that's just context in the wider picture. Especially where kids involved.

What you're describing seems to go beyond reasonable boundaries.

Did they date for a long while? In which case it sounds like he might not be fully over her. She's obviously still on his mind a lot.

I would say it’s a 🚩 as I’d interpret it to mean that the guy is not over her and will be bringing some drama to the table

I think mentioning they have an ex fine.

I had one first date where he went on a bit about his ex and it was a bit off putting (plus he was a bit odd anyway).

What you’ve said OP not fine.

My DP did say a bit about his exW when we first dated, but that was only because I vaguely knew her!

I wouldn't be very happy if someone droned on and on about their ex while they were meant to be on a date with me, and trying to impress me!

Not a red flag in a worrying sense unless he was bad mouthing her, but certainly inappropriate and blind to your feelings/ the situation he was in. A date isn't an appropriate opportunity to explore your last relationship or discuss your ex in detail. It would suggest he isn't ready to prioritise you so I would be tempted to avoid.

Yes he dis keep bringing her up
Think they were together 3 years…
It does seen quiet a bit much that inknow about the woman
Also calling her a slob

And what she was like in bed

@Newpjamas

And what she was like in bed

That's so inappropriate. I would never see him again, just for that reason alone. He'll be telling his next date what YOU were like in bed, if it came to that point 🤮

Avoid! No discretion if talking about bedroom

Well I think he is rude and disrespectful so I would not see him again

He's not over her move on

He talked about sex with someone, anyone, else on a date with you? Sod that. He has zero understanding of what's appropriate or likely to make you feel comfortable.

Wonder what he will be saying about you when you become an ex

Not in that much detail, it's really off putting.

He talked about what she was like in bed? Just chuck him back in the sea, my love. You don't need a 'man' like this. Imagine what he'll be saying about YOU to other people?

Oh I’ve just remembered on my first few dates 11 years ago with current boyfriend, he told me a complex story about something which had happened between them. I didn’t think after he’d told me this that he was over her (he said he was) but I broke up with him not long after that.

I noticed when I stayed over at his place earlier this year for the first time that a photo of them together was in his bedroom. I’m not sure how I feel about that because I wouldn’t have that on show with a new relationship.

But talking about an ex and sex on a date is really inappropriate though another ex did tell me “oh I did this with x or other girlfriends” but I was always like and yeah so what?