DP standing in his vest and pants (Lighthearted, ish…)

[PinkySooty]

I love DP and he’s a lovely kind man but my god sometimes I cannot believe the buttons he can push…

He’s 40, in a highly paid, good job, well respected at work and very intelligent. This makes some of these behaviours all the more bemusing.

This morning he came into the bedroom in his vest and boxers and asked whether he should wear a vest today. I said I wasn’t sure and it depended whether he thought he’d get cold, to which he stood for a moment, looked slightly panic striken, and said ‘well what do you think?’

We were due to leave today at 10am, woke up at 9. I find DP standing in the hall, naked at 9:30, just doing nothing. I asked if he was ok and he said he was just thinking of all the things he needed to do today. I said well get dressed as it’s now half 9.

There’s more but I’m just looking for solidarity really - prepared that I may not find it!

Er….none to be had here!

Sorry, this is the sort of thing I do!

This is my DH, and my DS (there's no mistaking DS is DH's child 🙄). No advice other than "count to ten" - but plenty of solidarity 💐

Overwhelm paralysis... thats how I describe it anyway. I have a list of pretty minor things to do today in my head and wasn't sure what to do first, so I made another coffee I certainly don't have a clue what I'm going to wear when I bother getting dressed shortly.

He sounds overwhelmed actually I woukd treat him like one of my children and say check the weather report

My fella will come in & say, oh I have no socks or no jocks... Because he’ll have done a wash with just a pair of jeans & two t-shirts (and a red towel).

I don’t recall me ever consulting him over having no knickers to wear... It’s really annoying having to be responsible for everything at home.

I often ask DH for a temperature report and then follow up with questions on whether that’s the temperature as he perceives it or as I will perceive it And then wear a vest accordingly.

Sorry DH

Yep.. it's irritating. Dh asks me should he use one slice of bread to make a sandwich. It's all a ploy so they don't have to do anything

DH quite often tries to have a long convoluted conversation with me about whether he should wear his black jumper or burgundy jumper or black or blue jeans or trainers or boots.

I tell him that getting dressed isn't a bloody group activity!

I'm more concerned he's wearing a vest! As in a white M&S type job like my grandad used to wear .... at 40?

I find a lot of highly intelligent people can occasionally be lacking in common sense when it comes to the mundane daily stuff. My father is a self made millionaire but would still not think to do various normal everyday things if not for my mum keeping him on the straight and narrow!

@yorkshireteaspoonie

I'm more concerned he's wearing a vest! As in a white M&S type job like my grandad used to wear .... at 40?

That was the bit puzzling me too, I didn’t think men wore vests anymore.

Mine answers the question he thinks I should have asked. Even when it has bugger all to do with what I want to know.

Like

Q: are you going out in the morning?

A: something about having run out of shot shells

From which I am supposed to deduce that he will not be going out clay pigeon shooting because he has no shells, or that his mate has bought him some shells so he will be going.

He then gets annoyed when I ask if that was a yes or a no?

Normal .... I have an exh who asked me how to get electricity, as he couldn't find the number and address for the midlands electricity shop! He last dealt with utilities as a teenager when his mum sent him to pay the bill back when they had shops! I've recently had a flood of questions about how to buy a house, he's owned several WITH ME.

Thanks for the replies!!! Feeling much less alone.

I also have the sandwich question @Pegasussnail whether pita or bread will hold 🤦‍♀️

@womaniswomaniswoman

DH quite often tries to have a long convoluted conversation with me about whether he should wear his black jumper or burgundy jumper or black or blue jeans or trainers or boots.

I tell him that getting dressed isn't a bloody group activity!

@womaniswomaniswoman 😂 group activity made me laugh

Doesn't sound too bad to me tbh. We all need a little support and care sometimes He's probably just tired after working all week and fallen to pieces a bit with having to make more (albeit small) decisions at the weekend.

Sometimes I need, or probably just want, someone to tell me what coat to wear....

If my buff husband stands in boxers looking overwhelmed or scratching his head with thoughts on what to do next I just take in the view

I do then help him to work his list in his head out but I probably take a little longer

I'd just laugh at him, because I'd assume it was a joke. If he stood naked in the hall for two hours, I'd probably call an ambulance!

Decision fatigue is definitely a thing, especially if he's in a high pressure job.

Maybe he can select and lay his clothes out the night before he needs them so he can just put them on in the morning. When I'm in a high stress period I do this for myself and my son - it's one less thing to use mental capacity up on!

I would have told him to fuck off and ask his mum. Do grown men actually wear vest these days?

I'm a grown woman I'm wearing a vest its fucking cold here right now

I do that occasionally (ask senseless questions, freeze midway because I think of something else or because I am making a list in my head)
Do you think it would be OK for my DH of 36 years to tell me to fuck off?

I am reminded of the mother of one of the NASA team who landed the probe on Mars pointing out his domestic inadequacies.

Hahaha I do this to my OH ill ask about the weather, and if I need a coat. Then when he tells me it's warm and I don't take one and I'm cold I'll proceed to remind he that he should tell me the genuine weather not the weather as he perceives it. ( he would wear shorts In the middle of winter) in my defence ill ask because he works outside so usually looks ahead, and it saves me looking