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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Game affair?

2 replies

Crumby · 03/04/2022 00:48

First time posting so forgive me if I unintentionally break etiquette codes or struggle with acronyms! I've been with my wife for many years. We have children and, like any couple, have had our ups and downs. Some my fault, some hers and some, well, it's tit for tat. Over lockdown, my wife started playing an online game and became more and more involved to the point that she was ignoring me and and our children without seemingly being aware. When I pointed it out, I was the bad guy. I discovered she was talking to a few males in the game that she had also friended on social platforms. I saw what was being said and confronted as it seemed inappropriate but was assured it was nothing. Time went on and the messages talked about meeting up. Again, confrontation, again told it was nothing but also met with aggression and "you don't trust me". I've been assured that she no longer talks to said "friend" but I still have paranoia and uncertainty. I'm afraid to confront again and cause an argument but it's tearing me up to think she has eyes for someone else. What should I do?

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 03/04/2022 08:59

This happened to me. He was speaking to someone via the game and added them on social media. When confronted he removed them from sm and deleted them from the game. He had the discord app which I discovered he was messaging and phoning her. The app allows for notifications to be turned off so I’d never noticed, it was quick for him to switch from messaging page to a results page so I didn’t think anything of it at first.
I questioned like you and got all the same answers. Stupidly I allowed this to go on for months and it was killing me.
What worked for was some planning a night where it was just us and I could fully confront him. That was when j got the truth of what was going on, for how long and what next.
You need to do the same as it will carry on.
She needs tk see what she’s doing to you and your family. She’s become so invested in a fantasy that she’s forgetting her real life and is becoming annoyed when her fantasy is threatened.

Guavaf1sh · 03/04/2022 09:55

Ignoring it is not an option. She sounds as if she’s checking out of the family, at least temporarily, and you need to nip it in the bud.

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