Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotionally abusive relationship

4 replies

Jammydodger91 · 02/04/2022 21:26

Hi all Im here in the hopes i can get some opinions. I feel like i was in an emotionally abusive relationship. But the person who i was in the relationship even now says Im being dramatic and they were never that bad. I feel like Ill never get any closure while he feels like this. Am i being dramatic? i felt so many traumatic emotions throughout this relationship and its making it so hard to co-parent with him. Am i justified ?

Here is a list of the things that really damaged me.

Cheated on me at the start of the relationship but kept it from me until i had our first child. At the time i had asked about this girl and he turned it round on me saying i never let him have friends so i felt like it was my fault and he kept talking to her and meeting her. (but i didn’t know this at the time)

He was constantly on the phone texting/ messaging a younger girl he worked with to the point we didn’t even speak as he was so consumed in that. One evening i had gone to work with our youngest to visit him and later ( days later) was told the girl was hiding in the back. Again another period of time later when our relationship was bad he went to his friends and spent most of the night on video call to her instead of sorting our relationship out.

Found out some time after that he had told someone he had met online that he had feelings for them. I found this later as he messaged her to re connect and i saw the message.

Left me in A&E on my own when told i was having a miscarriage, despite me ringing and begging him to come up and be with me.

Found out he had cheated on me at the start of the relationship so kicked him out. Later tried again and fell pregnant but it didn’t really work and i spent best part of 9 months in turmoil and trapped In the head/heart battle.

When living at a friends he contacted a girl from America who he later told me he was in love with and didn’t love me anymore, after saying we would work things out.

Left me alone 2 Days after a c-section after a traumatic delivery. Told me you were going to get some clean clothes from the house you were living in and just didn’t come back. I had to take my oldest daughter to bed which was 2 flights of stairs up and then try and carry the baby up to bed because he wasn’t there to help like he said he would be.

While at friends he had been having a girl round and lying to me about it saying he didn’t speak to any girls anymore.

I was at home with a 6 week old baby. But he kept telling me he loved me and he wanted to try again, maybe in a couple of weeks when id settled into having a new baby we could talk about us. Then found out he had slept with a girl he met on facebook the first night he met her, bought her some wine from the shop and beers fro him while i hadn’t given me any child maintenance money.

Thank you in advance. Id love to connect with some people here :)

OP posts:
BritishDesiGirl · 02/04/2022 21:28

Get rid OP. He is a loser and you are wasting your time on this person. It is more than emotional abuse, it is manipulation, belittling you and having 0 respect for you and your DC.

Jammydodger91 · 02/04/2022 21:33

Thanks @BritishDesiGirl
I am thankfully 100% not with him and not going back to him.

Im finding it hard to co-parent with him because i cant even look at him.
I also feel like i need validation that Im valid in saying he messed me up.

OP posts:
IsThePopeCatholic · 02/04/2022 21:40

You’ve done really well to get rid of this man. He has treated you appallingly: he has cheated, lied, and manipulated you, and did not support you when you and the children needed him. Focus on yourself and your children now. Again, well done for getting rid of him. Good luck for the future.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 02/04/2022 21:44

It doesn't matter what he thinks
It doesn't matter what he says. He's proven time and again that he is a compulsive liar with poor character, what he says is just noise.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread