No Relationship after having a baby

[EsmeDavina]

I feel like since I had my son my husband and I have zero relationship apart from looking after a child.

We don't have sex really at all anymore and I'm not interested. He tries but has given up too as he feels like he's wasting his time.

We just exist in the same house and don't really do anything together. He works 6 days a week so when he does get a day off he wants to chill.

When we do go out either as a family or just us we went up bickering and arguing and I feel like we're always walking on egg shells.

When my son goes to bed, we watch the together then I go to bed and he stays up.

It's so boring and not a relationship at all. How do we get the spark back or even back on track?

How old is your DS? Babies are exhausting so its no wonder you have little interest is much else.

Have you tried to speak to your DH about it? A really honest conversation? He may well feel the same.

Could you have a date night? Get a family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can spend some time together just thr 2 of you.

You'll both need to work at it but as DS gets older life will become a little easier

Giving birth and looking after a baby are exhausting on the body, plus your hormones will have altered postpartum.

It takes time for things to return to pre birth/baby stage.

You should be sharing the baby workload with your partner, not be left to do it all yourself.

I walked away when it got like this. I realised I didn't have those feelings anymore when I ended up thinking I'd love to experience that feeling again when you first meet someone and I felt so down and uninterested in life. I didn't have any interest in sex..

In my case we had 2 little kids who liked waking up and getting in the bed. So you were trying to force yourself to have sex whilst listening out for children and it was the biggest turn off and chore. Sometimes also when we've had babies we don't feel sexy in ourselves anymore. Whether thats extra weight or a mum tum.

We also got bickering all the time. He would walk behind me in shops and I wanted him to entertain abit so I could bounce of him. But he'd just have a mope look about him and it was hard to enjoy myself.

I ended the relationship because personally I knew it wasn't going to come back.

I hope you can figure it out x

@Fairycake2

How old is your DS? Babies are exhausting so its no wonder you have little interest is much else.

Have you tried to speak to your DH about it? A really honest conversation? He may well feel the same.

Could you have a date night? Get a family member to babysit for a couple of hours so you can spend some time together just thr 2 of you.

You'll both need to work at it but as DS gets older life will become a little easier

My son is 1.5.

We do have an occasional date night and my son can go and stay out at his grandparents whenever we like but when he does it still feels like we are in a total rut.

Yeah DH and I had a very open conversation last night and I fully understand his point. He feels like since having a baby I've put on weight and lost my confidence and I'm not the same person which I agree with. It's so hard thought I get the motivation to lose weight when you have a toddler.

Honestly, I think a lot of couples go through this with young children. Ours are now both in full time school and honestly we are close again, we just have more time, headspace etc.. it’s hard times having little ones