Husband behaving appallingly

[cantbelieveheletmedown]

It's like invasion ofcthe body snatchers he's literally changed overnight. He is causing arguments, blaming me for everything and anything and refuses to accept responsibility. I have asked outright if he's having an affair, he denies and denies it despite being secretive with his phone. Spending all weekend glued to his laptop. What kind of man does this to his Wife and what kind of woman does this to another woman or is happy with such grubby sordid behaviour.

That sounds hard.

What makes you think it’s definitely another woman? Could it be debts or gambling?

Sounds like my stbxh. He left 2 months ago after meeting ow and starting an affair. At least he didn't string it out too long I guess. He needs to be honest with you about why he's suddenly changed. Do you suspect anyone?

It's the Script. Textbook.

he denies and denies it
Well he would, wouldn't he.

Has he started negging you, suggesting you have let yourself go, are mentally unstable and useless at housekeeping? Has he accused you of being unfaithful or flirtatious? Has your sex life changed.

Be prepared for him to be unexpectedly attentive towards you.

It's the Script.

Get your 'ducks in a row' and seek legal advice

It does sound like typical cheat behaviour.

What would he say if you demanded he hand over his phone RIGHT NOW - no thinking about it to give him a chance to delete anything.

@GotBeatenUp

he denies and denies it Well he would, wouldn't he.

Has he started negging you, suggesting you have let yourself go, are mentally unstable and useless at housekeeping? Has he accused you of being unfaithful or flirtatious? Has your sex life changed.

Be prepared for him to be unexpectedly attentive towards you.

It's the Script.

Get your 'ducks in a row' and seek legal advice

Yes he has told me I've put on weight the house is untidy. Sex life is now 0 despite being ok. He can barebribg hinself to talk to me nevermind touch me.

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

It does sound like typical cheat behaviour.

What would he say if you demanded he hand over his phone RIGHT NOW - no thinking about it to give him a chance to delete anything.

There is no way he would. He says his behaviour is down to me accusing him of having an affair. I did say well his behaviour (being glued to his phone, numerous Whatsapp messages) was extremely concerning

Hes cheating

That's not true though, his bad behaviour came first and was why you accused him. He's twisting things round onto you. This isn't your fault.

I wouldn't believe a word he says from now on and wouldn't bother getting into any conversations with him about anything. Mostly I'd be telling him not to speak to me like that whenever he started his nonsense. I expect he's trying to make your life hell so you'll go stay elsewhere for a while. So he can then see if his new relationship seems to be working out, before he decides to break up with you or not.

If you decide you don't want to stay with a cheater or be nothing more than an option, I hope you can get rid of him swiftly and without too much hassle.

He's cheating, op. The longer you deny it the harder this will be. Kick the arsehole out.

Any changes in routine, later than normal ?

Buying new stuff, clothes, expensive glasses, new vehicle, new hobby, new interests, new music and constant recomendations for items which after the fact you know were from ow.

Mentionitis, or stopping talking about someone who they previously did.

Acting cocky sometimes, as though they have one up on you.

It's a gut thing, a change in the dynamic of a relationship that sometimes is hard to pinpoint but is different.

Oh and buying bulk loads of extra strong mints and religously using Alpecin if they are of a certain age.

Stop accusing him of having an affair - he’s not going to just admit it.

You either need to apologise and stop accusing him and find concrete evidence once he believes you trust him.

Or

break up with him regardless of him having an affair - your relationship doesn’t sound great and it sounds like you have both come to the end now anyway, so splitting is probably the best option.

@Branleuse

Hes cheating

Agreed. A previous BF did the same to me. Suddenly really short with me, very critical, less affectionate, etc. Found out he was cheating.

@Onthedunes
Buying new stuff, clothes, , new vehicle, new hobby, new interests

Mentionitis, or stopping talking about someone who they previously did. New very close male friend. Probably 'OW'. There was always a someone who had said something and in hindsight it was almost certainly OW

Acting cocky sometimes, as though they have one up on you.

Are you me?

It's a gut thing, a change in the dynamic of a relationship that sometimes is hard to pinpoint but is different.
Yes

I agree, definitely sounds like he's having an affair! Get all your stuff sorted and get rid of the pig

@GotBeatenUp

Are you me

We are all you.

I think the biggest indicator for me was in his eyes, they changed.

It actually didn't need words to see the truth.